So you’re a scientist who discovered the power to bring dead animals to life. What do you do? You open a chain of stores filled with animal parts. Then you give these creatures to children. Happy Birthday, we hope you wished for screaming.
2. The Ninja Turtles
Actual turtles are disgusting. A Scientifically Accurate Ninja Turtle would be able to fight crime…via contagious outbreaks from sewer-borne diseases.
3. American Girl Dolls
Look up Hydrocephalus. Now look at that doll and tell us she doesn’t have it (so does the cast of Peanuts, while we’re here).
4. Street Sharks
Assuming that the mutation which gave sharks legs also gave them the ability to think and breathe above water, Street Sharks would mean instant human slavery. There’s nothing we can do to beat thinking, walking, steroid sharks.
If there was a dog as big as Clifford, it would be considered a monster and the villagers would most likely chase him out of town with torches. Also, his fur is clearly red with blood.
6. The T.A.R.D.I.S.
Here’s the problem with Time-Travel — it would shred you into bits. Imagine a phone booth that popped into existence, and the inside was filled with warm maroon mush.
As much as children love real dinosaurs, it’s probably not wise to drop them off at a daycare that’s run by one.
Your friendly neighborhood arachnid who’s weakness is getting flushed down the toilet.
Actual aardvarks are way less adorable and they don’t even wear glasses. Not cool, real aarkvarks.