1. The Goth Jock
There are team captains, and there are scream captains.
2. The African American Jewish Kid
Ask him to explain how to celebrate Hanukkwanzaa.
3. The Kid with the Large Head
There’s always a kid who goes through puberty head-first.
4. The Sexy Religious Girl
Short skirts, promise ring, and lots of BJ’s — because she’s saving herself for marriage.
5. The Alternative
By alternative, we mean search engine. You know the kid who always drops that he uses Wolfram|Alpha like he’s talking about hanging out with Jack Nicholson?
6. The Girl Who is Best Friends with Her Mom
When her mom is called in for a parent-student conference, it’s just another chance to hang out.
7. The Do-Gooder
He’ll either grow up to be a politician or a serial killer. Or both
8. The Perfect, Gorgeous, Valedictorian who is Nice, Popular, and Funny
She will have 3 kids and a depressing Facebook profile in ten years. They say It gets better, but for her it only gets worse.
9. The Girl Who Smells Like Milk
We’ve never seen her drinking milk. Why was there a girl who always smelled like milk?