Terribly scratchy looking high-waisted pants: check. Cape Dracula sold to a thriftstore: check. Goofiest helmet ever: double check.
9. The Punisher
Dolph Lundgren looks less like a hero here and more like the token NRA-fetishist character from a scrapped Grease reboot.
Because nothing scares the crap out of criminals like bat armor with nipples.
7. Judge Dredd
This is one of those rare instances where the comic didn’t actually feature spandex or codpieces. Which means Sylvester Stallone probably just really wanted to show off his banana boat.
This whole costume is like a gigantic arrow to Spidey’s junk.
Admittedly, we’d probably all be better off if Shaq was stuck in a clunky metal suit of armor all day. Especially if it had a mouth piece that locked shut from the outside.
They would have been better off just making Halle Berry go nude for the entire film. But then people would have too hard a time telling it apart from Monster’s Ball.
3. Green Goblin
Sure, the original may look like a gritty reboot of Troll 2. But at least it won’t rust in the rain.
Because nothing says badass like turning yourself into an extra from Madonna’s “Express Yourself” video crossed with a rejected Robert Mapplethorpe photo.
1. Batman Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo
Only Joel Schumacher has the power to ruin Batman’s menacing looks twice in the same film. First it was nipples. Now it’s a gigantic honking codpiece.