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1. The chances of a guy holding a boom box outside your window would increase 300%.
2. So would your chances of finding a hidden pirate map.
3. Lawn mowers would become the most romantic and landscaping-effective form of transportation.
4. Actual real-life freeze frame moments would be the best and most common way to celebrate one's successes.
5. Say goodbye to chairs!
6. Cars would be the key to time travel.
7. Phone booths could be used for time travel as well.
8. "The Glow" would be a totally real karate move you could achieve.
9. You could form evil cliques with people who have the same name as you.
10. If you don't have a date, you could make one.
11. But you basically will always get the girl/guy so you won't have to.
12. You would discover the meaning of life and your own existence just by staring at a painting.
13. This would forever remain your definition of a vampire:
14. Dancing would be the best way to reject authority.
15. And solve your problems.
16. You'd always look like this when coming out of a pool:
17. Your video games would be real!
18. The star player on your basketball team would be a teen wolf.
19. You would be the epitome of a "cool kid."
20. Or the most fashion forward and funniest "geek" ever.
21. Chances of you finding out you're the descendant of a long line of Salem witches would greatly increase.
22. You could be a genius but still party hard.
23. You could beat the system and just get one rib for 50 cents.
24. No one will, like, ever want to gag you with a spoon if you talk this, like, totally bitchin' way, fer sure.
25. You'd be able to impress all your friends with just a pair of underwear.
26. People would fight over you by staging ski-offs.
27. You could make people think you joined that religious cult you saw on 60 Minutes.
28. And impromptu dance numbers would be completely normal.
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