2. He’s really big on secret relationships:
He’s avoids you, with love.
3. And in the horrible case where word gets out that he knows you:
So I guess if he friendzones you that means he really likes you!
7. You’ll never escape him:
He’ll try to talk to you at all waking moments of the day or….?
8. He’s Michael Meyers:
PLUS HE JUST WANTED TO TALK TO ME AT ALL HOURS, WHAT THE HELL.
10. He demonstrates proper social behavior:
People being nice? No, that’s a myth— they’re actually already planning your future with them.
11. Remember when Ghost Face was watching Drew Barrymore through the window:
If I’m not looking how do I know he’s looking me?! HOW DO I KNOW!
13. He’s on his way somewhere:
Stranger walks next to me = we’re dating.
15. Remember when you brushed hands with the cashier:
But really don’t touch me.