15 Pictures That Prove Vladimir Putin Is Actually “Career Barbie”

Putin literally banned Barbie Dolls from Russia in 2002 because he didn’t want any competition.

1. Receptionist Putin:

DMITRY ASTAKHOV/AFP / Getty Images

Receptionist Putin doesn’t make or receive calls, he just uses the receiver to quietly listen to FSB wiretaps. Receptionist Putin even comes with his own phone, so he can wiretap it himself.

2. Martial Arts Putin:

Get active with Martial Arts Putin, who teaches you how to be Forbes’ 2013 Most Powerful Man. Just remember when fighting actual people, you must first pay them to let you win.

3. Fishing Putin:

Ria Novosti / Reuters

Fishing Putin is part of the “Outdoors Collection” and loves fishing for a reason to invade sovereign countries.

FASHION BONUS:

ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images

Fishing Putin even comes with a stylish camouflage outfit.

4. Hockey Putin:

Ria Novosti / Reuters

Hockey Putins originally came a part of the special “Sports Collection”, but were recalled after they kept losing to the United States.

5. Race Car Driver Putin:

ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images

Racetrack Putin lives life in the fast lane and won’t hesitate to follow the Sochi Winter 2014 Olympics by invading Ukraine one week later.

6. Archaeologist Putin:

ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images

Deep-sea dive and scavenge with Archaeologist Putin, who will teach you the importance of not only making history, but also finding it.

DISCLAIMER: Please call your local museum first before playing, so they have enough time to plant the historical objects for you to find.

7. Doctor Putin:

Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images

Doctor Putin loves saving lives, almost as much as he loves threatening them with jail time.

8. Horseback Rider Putin:

ALEKSEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images

Horseback Putin loves riding off into the sunset, as the warmth from his fur-lined jacket and hat keep his body warm during a Russian Winter.

COLLECTOR’S EDITION:

Ria Novosti / Reuters

Don’t forget to order the special seasonal collector’s edition, “Summer Horseback Putin”. Previously called “Fantasy Putin”, Summer Horseback Putin has shed his heavy Winter jacket to embrace the rays of the sun, while riding his steed.

9. Zoologist Putin:

Zoologist Putin really loves animals. He’ll teach you to treat them better than humans.

10. DJ Putin:

KIRILL KUDRYAVTSEV/AFP / Getty Images

Drop some sick beats with DJ Putin, who spends his nights and weekends hosting lavish parties you’re not invited to. DJ Putin loves all music, except anything by Pussy Riot.

11. Pianist Putin:

Ria Novosti / Reuters

Pianist Putin will not only have you playing the piano beautifully, but he will also have you playing the entire Western world’s emotions, too. Genius.

12. Hunter Putin:

ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images

Hunter Putin is another special edition to the “Outdoors Collection”. Hunter Putin obviously loves hunting, especially for all the gay propaganda that’s corrupting children.

13. CSI Putin:

DMITRY KOSTYUKOV/AFP / Getty Images

Binge watch crime shows with your new CSI Putin! With CSI Putin, you’ll be spending many days investigating crime scenes and putin people who speak against you in jail.Yeeaaahhhh!

14. Ski Resort Putin:

Ria Novosti / Reuters

Take a vacation with your Ski Resort Putin! Ski Resort Putin enjoys skiing downhill at speeds almost as fast as people’s hotel anticipations at Sochi during the 2014 Winter Olympics.

And finally,

15. President Putin:

Ria Novosti / Reuters

President Putin is the most recognized and infamous figure of all the dolls. You can reenact your favorite movies with President Putin, such movies could be The Hunger Games, but where Katniss gets immediately thrown in jail and District 13 is invaded.

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