The Most Foolproof Ways To Disappoint Your Parents

No parents, no rules, but you're not quite there yet. Avoid these 15 things if you want to make them proud, and show them you're ready for financial independence by opening your own account with Fifth Third Bank.

1. Moving far, far away.

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Especially when your mom is a nervous flyer.

2. Not writing thank you notes.

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"Didn't we teach you some manners?"

3. Listening to heavy metal.

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"But it's so LOUD, son!"

4. Wearing flip flops to the restaurant.

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What kind of savage are you?

5. Taking a year off school to "find yourself":

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Europe ain't cheap, even with a backpack.

6. Anything that takes place in this establishment:

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We can hear their hearts breaking from here.

7. Using poor grammar, spelling, or judgment on social media.

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As a matter of fact, your friends are disappointed too. Cut it out.

8. Letting your room look like a tornado just went through it.

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When's the last time you saw your house cat? Uh-oh.

9. Believing in far-fetched conspiracy theories.

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The illuminati might control the music industry, but your parents don't need to hear your theories about it.

10. Showing up to Thanksgiving with a brutal hangover.

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All your best friends were in town from college for the weekend and Jägerbombs were had. You can barely speak to your family the next day.

11. And spending every family gathering glued to your phone.

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Honey, what could be more important than spending time with your loving parents right now?

12. Vandalism.

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If you try your hand at graffiti, chances are pretty high you'll end up in jail at least once. And if there's one thing that will really disappoint your parents above all else, that's you getting arrested.

13. Forgetting to call them on special occasions, unless you need to borrow money.

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Sigh. Isn't it time you open up your own account?