Hi. So, I’m a unicorn… you’re interested in interviewing me, you say? I don’t normally grant interviews (or wishes) but… what the hay. (Get it? Get it? Hey/Hay? Oh, I’m good. anyway)
I’ll need just a few minor things prepped prior to my arrival. I prefer to slide down a rainbow to make my entrance, so please leave a large window or door open.
I am technically only allowed to talk to the pure of heart, but that’s such a fluid definition. Just don’t pick anyone who has ever had any affiliation with Fox News and/or Tom Cruise. (we had a falling out filming Legend.)
Please, no horn fetishists, either.
Lastly, please do not send That Guy/Gal who thinks they’ll be getting a wish so they can wish for more wishes. The last guy we let do that ended up getting power hungry, which turned into horrible situation. The movies The Last Unicorn and Legend (curse you, Cruise!) are based on those experiences. So have your people call my people. I have to do a kid’s birthday party and a virgin blessing this weekend, but I’m sure we could touch base and set up a time. Cheers.