Who’s The Best War Dog Of All Time: Stubby Or Smoky?

Stubby and Smoky were unbelievably heroic dogs, and, since it was just Veteran’s Day, we decided to tally up their achievements to try and decide who is the Best War Dog of all time!!!!!!!!!

2. Smoky Fought in WW2

3. Stubby Rose to the Rank of “Sergeant” and Everyone Called Him “Sergeant Stubby”

4. Smoky Barely Made Corporal, Which Seems Like a Clear Case of Sexism Because…

5. She Could Fly And Do All Sorts of Other Crazy Stuff!

she was only 4 pounds!

6. Then Again, Stubby Did Win more Medals

Stubby won 18 Medals in total!
Smoky won 8

7. But That’s Because Stubby Fought in More Battles

8. And Stubby Did A Lot of Brave Stuff in Those Battles

9. This One Time He Saved His Troops from a Mustard Gas Attack!

10. And This Other Time He Sniffed Out a German Spy and Took Him Down All By Himself!!!

11. And He Saved An Entire Village in France During The Battle of Château-Thierry With His Bare Paws!

12. But It’s Not Like Little Smoky Was Short on Heroism

13. She Saved Her Owner’s Life By Telling Him To “Get Down!”

And everyone else died! Then he started Calling her his “angel from a foxhole” because that’s where he found her. A foxhole!

14. And She Helped Build a Key Allied Airfield by Threading a Wire Through a 70 Foot Long Pipe!

If little smoky hadn’t done this, it would have taken three days of digging, exposing over 250 men and 40 planes to enemy attack.

15. Like Some Straight Up Dogmando

16. And Yes, She PARACHUTED Behind Enemy Lines in a Custom Yorkie Parachute!!!

17. When Other Military Dogs Jump Out of Planes, It’s Always a Tandem

18. But Smoky Jumped Solo

19. Stubby Had The Best Sense of Smell

You wanna know how!? One time he almost died from a gas attack, and ever since then his nose got extra sensitive and he could smell it first and worn all the soilders before it was too late!!!

20. He Also Had Super Sonic Hearing

So he could hear gunfire way before it was close, and he could identify English speaking men on the battlefield and would wait when them and bark until paramedics came!

21. But Smoky had Survival Skills that Rival Those of James Franco in 127 Hours

She survived 150 air raids in New Guinea, including a kamikaze attack aboard a ship, and a typhoon in Okinawa.

22. Unlike Other “War Dogs” Smoky Never Had any Vetrinary Care

23. And She Didn’t Even Have Dog Food! She Lived on Air and Table Scraps!

24. And Smoky could do the MOST INSANE TRICKS EVER!!!!

25. You know Norman, The Dog That Rides Around On a Scooter? Well Smoky Invented That Trick

26. She Could Also Walk On a Tightrope While Blindfolded!!! Try Doing that Norman!

27. And She Could Spell Her Own Name From a Jumble of Letters! Norman Can’t Spell!

28. Stubby Was More of a One Trick Puppy

29. But His Trick Was a Big Hit With All The Soilders — He Knew How To Salute!!!

It’s actually how he got to stay in the army. His owner had smuggled him over and when all the other people in charge said Stubby had to go, his owner taught him how to salute and then everyone loved him because he was a dog that could SALUTE and he got to stay!!!

30. Tricks were Beneath Stubby Because He Was Really, Really Smart, And More of An Intellectual

31. He Was First Found Wandering Around the Yale Campus, Deep In Thought

32. And He Knew How to Speak English, French, and German. You Could Say He Was a “Dog of Letters”

33. Smoky Was Smart Too…But More Street Smart

34. She Liked to Say that She Earned Her Degree in the Jungles of New Guinea

35. After Their Wars, Stubby & Smoky Were Welcomed Back as Heroes. And They Became Pretty Famous

36. Smoky Went To Hollywood

Where she got her own live television called, “Castles in the Air.” She even had her own drum!!!

37. And She Became the First Service Dog! She Invented the Whole Idea of a Service Dog!

38. And She Saved the Breed of Yorkshire Terriers from Total Obscurity, and Made them Super Popular!!!!

39. Yorkies Are Now the Third Most Popular Breed!

40. Stubby Tried to Stay More Down to Earth After the War. He Did Lots of Normal Things Like Join The YMCA

41. And Amazing Things — Like Meeting a Ton of Presidents!

42. And Marching in Lots of Parades

43. And Even Going to Georgetown to Study Law!!!

44. Where He Became The Georgetown Mascot

45. Long Before Jack the Hoya

46. Both Stubby and Smoky Lived Long Civilian Lives

47. Stubby Died When He was Ten

48. Smoky Died When She Was Fourteen

49. There’s This Really Cute Statue of Her in Clevland

50. And Her Owner Wrote a Really Cool Memoir Called “Yorkie Doodle Dandy”

51. Stubby’s Got a Book Too

…by a little know company, National Geographic!

52. And Instead of Getting Statued…Stubby Got Taxidermied!!!! So Go Salute Stubby Next Time You’re at the Smithsonian!!!

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