Satan spawn appears in lowly manger following Pope's final resurrection
In the week that the "last Pope" was elected and Jesus was revealed to be a shapeshifter, Satan's child has been on a farm in Serbia.
Goat farmer Hazbija Mujkovic might think he's doing the right thing by saving this abomination from the slaughterhouse after its mum rejected it.
"As a farmer I'm not supposed to be sentimental but I couldn't help myself when I saw this little thing," he told AustrianTimes.
"His mother refused to feed him so I took over with milk in a bottle and he seems to be thriving."
He said no one in his family had seen anything like it in "generations" and is looking to science for answers as to why his goat was born in human form.
Genetic condition? Chemical pollution? For the sake of the planet, let's hope so and we can look forward to Narnia-themed future of frolicking in meadows with our cloven-hoofed brethren.
But our advice to Hazbija would be to kill it with fiah. If it survives, pack some asbestos underpants, because the end of the world is in sight and it will be hot.
Sadly, he's already under the spell of the spawn of Baphomet.
"I just want her to be healthy and happy," Hazbija said. "When she's a bit older I'll fix up some wheels and a small walking frame for her to get about on."
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