1. Scriptures are in the nonfiction section.
2. Weather is divine.
No global warming here!
3. Flicks that “every good Christian should see” are on the shelves.
You can’t stream this on Netflix.
4. Veggies are disciples.
Are you more pious than a cucumber?
Who needs picture books? Or pop-ups for that matter…
6. And Nativity costumes!
Testify at your next costume party. Plus, get extra candy when trick or treating at believers’ houses.
7. There are BIG families.
Six sisters? How many brothers are there?
8. The bookmarks are preachy.
Should we obey the scriptures or the bookmarks we use to keep our place in them?
9. The tunes are righteous.
We’re talkin’ about Grammy Award winning hits, my brothers and sisters!
10. You can buy books that people are trying to GIVE away.
Forget those pesky missionaries and ads trying to give these books away. The Good Word is worth paying for.
11. There are fashion accessories for young congregants.
[Baby] bow ties are cool!
12. Fifty Shades of Grey isn’t the guilty pleasure in these joints.
The way into Christian Grey’s heart is through his stomach.