1. David Lynch Vs. The Goofy Movie

This one catches the tone pretty impressively. Goofy’s just going about his regular goofy-ass business, but something’s not quite right. Something’s. Not. Quite. Right.

2. David Lynch Vs. Dirty Dancing

I never saw this movie, so as far as I know it may actually be this creepy. Patrick Swayze has always scared the hell out of me as it is.

3. David Lynch Vs. Three Men and a Baby

Ted Danson pretending to be pregnant + Steve Guttenberg doing pretty much anything + ominous music = instant David Lynch classic.

4. David Lynch Vs. Return of the Jedi

David Lynch was actually approached by George Lucas to direct Return of the Jedi, but he turned it down. Here’s what it might have looked like if he hadn’t. Better than Phantom Menace, not quite as good as Revenge of the Sith.

5. A Chaser: Something Blue

Time for a chaser after all that creepiness. Here’s Blue Velvet reimagined as a romantic comedy in the style of Monster in Law. Dennis Hopper sure is a grumpy in-law … but he has a heart of gold!