The 19 Most Annoying Things About Being Vegan
Trust me, I am one. Sometimes it’s just as tiresome for us as it is for everyone else.
1. People who pronounce it “vaygun.”
Vaygun sounds like we came to Earth from the planet Vega. Which…actually, now that sounds kind of cool. Keep on saying that, grandmas who say “vaygun.” We can’t stay mad at you.
2. Everyone you know is suddenly a nutrition expert.
Seriously with this protein thing.
3. Suboptimal fake meats
Let’s be honest — there are some truly fantastic vegan alternatives out there…but we’re not 100% there yet.
4. The vegan option at a restaurant is ALWAYS a wrap.
Ah, wraps. I dimly remember — roughly 10,000 wraps ago — when I used to not HATE EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR.
5. The vegan option at a wedding is ALWAYS grilled vegetables.
I don’t want to seem ungrateful, and I’m certainly not going to complain, but that looks like A LOT of zucchini. Is all. Whatever, forget it. Thank you for inviting me to your wedding and for providing a vegan option when you didn’t have to. I am a terrible person. I take this one back.
6. And let’s not even talk about continental breakfast at a hotel…
Free breakfast sounds sooooo good until you realize that literally the only thing you can eat is hash browns with a side of hash browns, with a black coffee. Yes, fine – also a fruit cup. But, like, this is a secret and don’t tell anyone, but vegans feel pretty much the same way about fruit cups as everyone else does.
7. Getting constantly trapped under the weight of your own logic…
…and having to be like, “Yes, true. OK, that is a great point, but also…remember how this all began with me just politely turning down the cheese dip? YOU STARTED THIS NIGHTMARE CONVERSATION. You just forgot that you did.” GODDAMN IT, CHELSEA.
8. Secretly finding this funny.
Sometimes a good burn is just a good burn.
10. Getting lumped in with the gluten-free people.
For Christ’s sake, it’s already hard enough!!!
12. No, seriously. The “vegan at a dinner party” joke.
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, VEGANS.
13. People saying stuff like this and thinking they’ve vanquished you with their genius.
“Oh no, I have been defeaaaaated. I would like to formally apologize for initiating this discussion by asking the waiter to hold the cheese on my veggie burger. Please immediately begin force-feeding me hard-boiled eggs until I explode under the weight of my own contradictions. It’s all I deserve.”
16. People who don’t know peanut butter doesn’t have butter and coconut milk doesn’t have milk.
17. Being called a hypocrite if you feed your pet meat, and crazy if you don’t.
18. Other Vegans
Ugh — other vegans are THE WORST. Who talks like this???
19. And, finally…the comment section for every article ever written about veganism.
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Sjayturner a week agoI am vegan and am so for my distaste of meat and allergies to certain items. I don’t push my ideas about food on anyone else. It’s what works for me. That being said, if an individual does decide to partake in the consumption of meat and/or it’s byproducts I feel it should be done responsibly (i.e. grass fed beef, free range chicken, etc.) and in reasonable quantities. The largest portion In a well rounded meal should be the vegetable whether or not meat is on the plate.
And by far the worst thing is dealing with the preconceived notion that I am as judgmental and preachy as some of the other vegans out there… Side note: you make us all look bad! -
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- Edie S. thinks The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei... is Cute
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matthewb73 2 weeks agoLol, meat is delicious its not like we eat cute animals like kittens and puppies anyways
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balint 2 weeks agoThat video the one guy kept posting made me hungry. The pictures of happy animals and people at the end were still farm animals, who almost certainly were being milked or were heading for the table. The way to avoid the conflicting feelings is to realize that Cute and Delicious are not mutually exclusive. That cute baby calf is cuddly and soft, and also tender and juicy (if properly cooked). http://www.lamebook.com/meat-group/
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paulspencer 2 weeks agoI wrote a song you might enjoy, about food politics. Be A Crap Vegan :)
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maggieg10 2 weeks agoVegans, when people start asking all kinds of personal questions about your diet, feel free to answer with all kinds of deeply personal information that will make them incredibly uncomfortable.
“When did you go vegan?”
“Well, it all started when I was six and walked in on my parents having sex. Dad was whipping mom with a riding crop, and ever since then, I’ve always seen my mother’s face instead of farm animals.” -
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Mary Mary 2 weeks ago
Having been raised an omnivore for most of my life until I went vegatarian years ago and now vegan, I can speak from both perspectives. I was never preached to or made to feel a certain way by vegans when I was eating meat, but I do see vegans being scrutinized terribly for choosing to abstain in the suffering of animals. I actually hate eating amongst my coworkers because they inevitably have something rude or ignorant to say about my food. And non vegans ALWAYS start the conversation when I am “outed” at an event. My husband’s who is a vegan as well is “jokingly” called a pussy or a fag by his meat-eating friends, while he’s never criticized their choices. Take a look @ the comments below and you can clearly read which ppl are angry and hostile and tormenting animal lovers by promising to eat endangered species etc…
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rachelg47 2 weeks agoI would be thrilled to see how many hardcore ‘vegans’ also buy their clothing and household items with as much care. Like the article said, plywood has animal product in it. - and if we’re going for the whole ‘you murdering animal killer!’ What about those fabulous booty pants you’re wearing? The ones made by an 8 year old. Isn’t that cruel and unusual? DON’T YOU LOVE HUMANS?!?
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FlatPackNanna 2 weeks ago
Dear Vegans and Vegetarians, For every animal you refuse to eat, I will eat two endangered species.
Have a steak or it’s Panda BBQ time. Regards, The Carnivore -
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MrsPeacock 2 weeks ago
Dear “The Carnivore,” I haven’t been a vegetarian in YEARS, but I can’t believe that people still use this corny bullshit line. Really? You’re going to eat two servings of meat because someone else don’t eat one? Seems like you’re making a really terrible choice if you make good on your promise, not to mention an illegal one. FYI, prison food is skimpy on the prime rib. Also, if you’re typing on a computer and know English, chances are that you’re a HUMAN, meaning that you’re an OMNIVORE (not THE OMNIVORE, you are not “the” anything). Now, this is where I tell you to stop being an annoying shit (you are being loads more annoying than any vegan I’ve ever met) and please go find a place where you can’t talk to other humans. Seriously, stop it. Sincerely,
An Omnivore Who Is Embarrassed By Your Ignorance
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Hannah Green 2 weeks ago
I don’t really have a problem what other people eat… It’s none of my business. I ate meat for years of my life, yes I made a change but it was my decision. Don’t force stuff on people, it will just piss them off. Anddd I like wraps lol
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adamh34 2 weeks agoi used to post on that big vegan messageboard, the people on that site turned me off soo much with their cutsey cupcake shit that i just couldn’t take it anymore. One day, when i was being swarmed for some dumb opinion I had, one of them actually reply/copied the post i wrote and changed the word “VegEnaise” to “VegAnaise”, even though I spelled it RIGHT the first time. they changed MY words in the reply, if thats not the dorkiest fucking thing ever.
I love veganism, I’m just annoyed by a lot of vegans. -
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mosesl 2 months agoif you have ADOPTED a cat or dog as your CHILD, then you have to give them VEGAN CAT FOOD AND DOG FOOD___ you can not kill cow and give cat to eat___murder is murder__if a cat catch a bird and eat in the garden, then it is CAT’S karma, that is why she is a CAT —- in a limited resources CAT body to suffer and LEARN___you CAN NOT KILL other animals and feed another animal—-cat will not get that karma YOU WILL___ understand____ for the bird that cat took —- cat WILL get the karma__for the cow that you killed and gave the cat to eat__YOU WILL GET THE KARMA____then you will become a COW and several thousands of time your HEAD will BE CHOPPED and you flesh will be EATEN by evil spirits from HELL_____ until 2018___ then we will clean the Earth__ all non vegan humanoid parasites will be KILLED and sent to HELL____but there are other hellish planets around many thousands___ you will not get away with MURDERING COWS and sheep and chickens and pigs EVER___you will pay back… so THINK before buying corpse for your cat.
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