1. People who pronounce it “vaygun.”
Vaygun sounds like we came to Earth from the planet Vega. Which…actually, now that sounds kind of cool. Keep on saying that, grandmas who say “vaygun.” We can’t stay mad at you.
2. Everyone you know is suddenly a nutrition expert.
Seriously with this protein thing.
3. Suboptimal fake meats
Let’s be honest — there are some truly fantastic vegan alternatives out there…but we’re not 100% there yet.
4. The vegan option at a restaurant is ALWAYS a wrap.
Ah, wraps. I dimly remember — roughly 10,000 wraps ago — when I used to not HATE EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR.
5. The vegan option at a wedding is ALWAYS grilled vegetables.
I don’t want to seem ungrateful, and I’m certainly not going to complain, but that looks like A LOT of zucchini. Is all. Whatever, forget it. Thank you for inviting me to your wedding and for providing a vegan option when you didn’t have to. I am a terrible person. I take this one back.
6. And let’s not even talk about continental breakfast at a hotel…
Free breakfast sounds sooooo good until you realize that literally the only thing you can eat is hash browns with a side of hash browns, with a black coffee. Yes, fine – also a fruit cup. But, like, this is a secret and don’t tell anyone, but vegans feel pretty much the same way about fruit cups as everyone else does.
7. Getting constantly trapped under the weight of your own logic…
…and having to be like, “Yes, true. OK, that is a great point, but also…remember how this all began with me just politely turning down the cheese dip? YOU STARTED THIS NIGHTMARE CONVERSATION. You just forgot that you did.” GODDAMN IT, CHELSEA.
8. Secretly finding this funny.
Sometimes a good burn is just a good burn.
9. People saying “humans are ‘meant’ to be carnivores.”
Meant? Meant? By whom?
10. Getting lumped in with the gluten-free people.
For Christ’s sake, it’s already hard enough!!!
11. The “vegan at a dinner party” joke.
Because it’s fucking true. :(
12. No, seriously. The “vegan at a dinner party” joke.
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, VEGANS.
13. People saying stuff like this and thinking they’ve vanquished you with their genius.
“Oh no, I have been defeaaaaated. I would like to formally apologize for initiating this discussion by asking the waiter to hold the cheese on my veggie burger. Please immediately begin force-feeding me hard-boiled eggs until I explode under the weight of my own contradictions. It’s all I deserve.”
14. Not being able to eat cheese.
Not gonna lie, miss that stuff.
16. People who don’t know peanut butter doesn’t have butter and coconut milk doesn’t have milk.
17. Being called a hypocrite if you feed your pet meat, and crazy if you don’t.
18. Other Vegans
Ugh — other vegans are THE WORST. Who talks like this???
19. And, finally…the comment section for every article ever written about veganism.
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if you have ADOPTED a cat or dog as your CHILD, then you have to give them VEGAN CAT FOOD AND DOG FOOD___ you can not kill cow and give cat to eat___murder is murder__if a cat catch a bird and eat in the garden, then it is CAT’S karma, that is why she is a CAT —- in a limited resources CAT body to suffer and LEARN___you CAN NOT KILL other animals and feed another animal—-cat will not get that karma YOU WILL___ understand____ for the bird that cat took —- cat WILL get the karma__for the cow that you killed and gave the cat to eat__YOU WILL GET THE KARMA____then you will become a COW and several thousands of time your HEAD will BE CHOPPED and you flesh will be EATEN by evil spirits from HELL_____ until 2018___ then we will clean the Earth__ all non vegan humanoid parasites will be KILLED and sent to HELL____but there are other hellish planets around many thousands___ you will not get away with MURDERING COWS and sheep and chickens and pigs EVER___you will pay back… so THINK before buying corpse for your cat.
- JacksonDS The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei...
- dualitycr thinks The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei... is LOL
Listen up Vegans. Us carnivores have no problems with your diet. If anything, we like it because there’s more meat for us. Our problem is with you trying to spew your diet like a cult following and get others to drink your kool-aid. So continue to steal the food from the animals you put on a pedestal. Just don’t try and convince us to do the same. Most likely, we’ll just chew our meat with our mouth open next time we’re around you.
- bortimus The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei...
It’s a dietary restriction, whether it’s based on ideals of animal treatment in our food supply or for the (numerous) health benefits. I think it says something impressive about ability to stick with routine… If you drink a slimfast shake every morning instead of eating sausage and eggs or decide that because of your parents (hypothetical) alcoholism you are not going to drink, are you now the obvious butt of jokes and nasty ridicule or are you trying to make a beneficial change in your life? Dear vegans, don’t brag or be pretentious. Dear meat eaters, do not be unnecessarily cruel. Dear kindergarteners, sharing is good. Dear dogs, poop outside not inside. Sincerely,
- seattlecarol thinks The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei... is Win
- WelfarePeanutButter thinks The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei... is WTF
you know when you see a scrawny white guy in a disproportionately big pick up truck and you can’t help but wonder just how small his prick is? catching a lot of those vibes from those of you with omni diets… justttt saying ;) if you’re not into being vegan, don’t be! but why not have some respect for others making a choice for themselves or, maybe, for the sake of your grandkids having a clean planet to grow up in. i mean, does it really offend you that someone likes animals more than they like eating animals? relax, people. there’s a reason vegans come off as snotty when asked about their dietary decision making processes. for many of us the choice is made by drawing conclusions from fact (ie environment, health, etc) and when you are describing statistics as they apply to a greater picture, how your decisions might affect others, it’s hard not to sound like you’ve made the ‘more ethical choice’. i’m not saying it isn’t, but it isn’t inherently so. i am often hypocritical and counteract vegan ideals from time to time, not by what i eat, but in things like medicine and certain clothing where the non-veg choice is best. i think a lot of us feel that way about a range of issues, but you know what’s good about that? it means we haven’t become a society without convictions. stand for something beyond just the pleasure you feel from eating meat, it’s not like anyone is threatening to take that away from you, man. for the record, eliminating animal products from your diet is better for the environment than driving a prius (obviously that figure can vary but it seems to hold up generally). and i get that it’s hard to feel empowered by individual lifestyle changes involving long term scope, but we’re going to be written down in history as a generation of assholes in about 50 years because we were too busy on facebook to protest the corporate takeover and contamination of natural resources. but that’s right, you’ll be dead by then so .. why should it concern you?
I hope this is a joke, because this is a really stupid argument. Are the existence of disproportionately large populations of ‘meat animals’ essential to everything that is good and holy? Before human intervention, these animals were in much lower numbers in the wild, like any other animal we don’t eat or keep as pets. What’s the problem? It’s not like the whole world would be suddenly forced to become vegan, meaning we’d shoot all the unnecessary animals, wasting them… I’m pretty sure supply and demand from gradual choice shifts will reduce the number of animals raised for meat in the first place, at least in the West, if the dietary trends continue with more vegetarians/vegans.
- dank11114 The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei...
I guess as a Vegan, I don’t understand when people want to make fun of it so hard. I always bring my own food to events so I don’t have to ask anyone to rearange their lives for me. I only discuss it if I am asked by someone who really wants to know about veganism (or jokingly with good friends). I don’t hate on anyone, and thats the point. I became vegan for compassionate reasons. Unless I was starving I would never kill and animal for food (or if freezing for clothing) so I can’t ask someone else to do it for me, simple as that. I felt something clicked into place in my life when I became vegan. Isn’t that something we should all be happy about in other peoples lives. Just let me do my thing, if you are inspired follow your path to veganism, if not then express compassion in YOUR own unique way.
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Okay, who gives a damn if someone else is a vegan? I’m not one, but I still don’t see why so many people feel the need to hate on vegans. I’ve met many many many vegans and not one of them acted superior. Having been a vegetarian for a long time, let me vouch for the fact that nobody enjoys the awkwardness of having to say “oh, no thank you, I don’t eat meat”. It’s a simple explanation, yet everyone feels the need to treat it like a pompous statement. Who gives a fuck? Just let ‘em enjoy their veggies.
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You know what’s really weird about the dinner party thing, is my best friend/roommate is vegan, so when we get or make food together, out of deference to her, I eat vegan. Then I decided I rather prefer those dishes to meat, but I have the occasional pepperoni pizza.
But SOMEHOW, without ever having claimed to be anything but an omnivore, every single club food event since has either give me the vegetarian dish without asking, or been shocked when I grab a cheese cube. I think the root problem here is that dinner parties are just full of people so hungry they get cranky and eager to judge.
Some animals eat meat; some animals do not eat meat. If you want to be vegan because you believe it is the healthiest way to live, the most efficient way to ingest sustenance and nutrition, that’s A-OK. But all this “humane treatment of animals….” just stop right there. You can’t treat an animal humanely because the word humane specifically refers to HUMANS. You don’t treat humans like any other animal and you don’t treat any other animal like humans. I don’t see vegans badgering lions and tigers about being assholes because they eat meat. Granted, humans are neither more nor less “worthy” creatures than any other, and no living thing should be needlessly mistreated. The fact of the matter is that humans would never have evolved or advanced to our current station of existence without the use of animal products: skins to keep warm, bones for tools, draft animals for labor, etc. Nomads can’t be farmers, and we were nomads first. There is nothing inherently superior about eating another animal - you can rest assured that we will be, and currently are being, eaten by other living things. It’s a cycle - you know, that whole circle of life concept Disney taught you about. Do you think any other carnivorous being would care about eating you if it was either you or them? No, it’s too busy trying to survive to care about your feelings. Besides, how could Disney have made that film and taught you all this without using animals? If you believe that we as a society farm-raise and slaughter animals purely for selfish cruelty and not reasons of convenient, efficient food production developed over time to meet rising demand by people who were too busy struggling to survive to care about the feelings of others then you aren’t treating your fellow man humanely, and you are an asshole. But all this logic is unnecessary because vegans who are vegan for the sake of the sanctity of life know and realize that plants are living things too, therefore they are not inferior to humans and do not deserve to be murdered for our survival.
I think the main point is that no science to date has conclusively shown that plants can feel pain, or have fear. Not that that’s anything to go by, because we understand so little about our natural world. It’s about making the best choices one can, based on the knowledge available. Also ecologically speaking, it’s muuuch more sustainable to eat plants (and no, soy etc. cropping wouldn’t be causing the Amazon deforestation if the crops were directly eaten by humans and not fed to cows for their whole pre-slaughter lives, then eaten by people indirectly through cow meat etc.) than meat, like an order of magnitude better. Human evolution, history and development are important to consider, but whether they are relevant factors in the continuation of human life on Earth today does not necessarily mean humans should eat meat now days, especially in the face of a population crisis.
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About #18… I’m not sure if it’s serious or if it’s some sort of odd metajoke created by a (not very sane) Homestuck fan. The url and this specific use of the word “culled” make it seems like it leans towards the second option, but knowing some parts of Tumblr, one may never know…
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My diet is 99.9% vegan (I do eat honey) so I call myself a “strict vegetarian.” One woman asked me if that meant I could eat fish. “That’s not a vegetable,” I said. “Does it come up out of the ground?” “No,” she admitted. “Well, then, how about ground hogs?” True story.
- kathyh11 The 19 Most Annoying Things About Bei...
The protein thing is the worst. Srsly. I’ve been considering carrying around a copy of my blood work from my last physical, and being all like, “Check THIS shit out. PERFECT HEALTH.” I also show the protein experts a photo of my 6’2” 180 lb. beefy/hunky iron worker [vegan] husband, or make him do a muscle show if he is present. That usually shuts them up.
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I am a class 5 vegan - I pick all my food at night. <3 my Mac, hate the IPhone. Drink of choice is Bourbon. :-P Any other stereotypes to address???