12 Things You'll Only Understand If You're The Boss

There's more to the job than sitting in the corner office. Often you have to be the one to make tough decisions. At least you can alleviate the stress of planning for one’s retirement by providing your employees with some great retirement options from E*TRADE.

1. Even when your jokes aren't funny, people will still laugh at them.

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The boss' stories, jokes, and anecdotes are always the most hilarious things ever said.

2. People will constantly say "yes" to everything you say (even when you're wrong).

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It's tough to know when you're right about something and when people are just agreeing with your ideas.

3. You always have to look the part.

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After constantly dressing for the job you want, you gotta keep that look together.

4. Some months you spend more time in hotel rooms than your actual home.

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The answer to "traveling for business or pleasure?" is always business.

5. When the cat's away, the mice will play.

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Take your time off sparingly.

6. Nine-to-five workdays are a fanciful illusion.

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Just because you're delegating work doesn't mean that you're ever off the clock.

7. A big part of your job is reassuring everyone else.

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Keeping other people confident, motivated, and happy is key.

8. People's work is never "crap," it’s just "missing the mark."

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Offering your criticism is a delicate dance; you want people to be motivated to do better work without crushing their spirits.

9. When someone's three minutes late, you can't flip out.

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Battles must be selected carefully, and there are bigger ones to fight than tiny moments of tardiness.

10. Grouching around is not allowed.

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If the person in charge is constantly in a bad mood, no one will ever be happy about anything.

11. If employees see you outside of the office, they'll likely be awkward about it.

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Some will avoid you. Some will say hi. Some will be uncommonly friendly. Either way, it's like they're seeing a dog on its hind legs.

12. Company outings will make you everybody's best friend.

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It's good for employees to have some team-building time to play paintball (or drink on the company's tab... or ride some roller coasters...); it's even better when you're credited for making it happen.

When you're running the place, let E*TRADE help you with your company's retirement: