Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

To get to the other side??? That’s a child’s tale. You can’t still believe that, right? Here are some of the actual reasons the chicken crossed the road.

1. Because Chess Is Far More Challenging

2. Because The Best Pro Leagues Are In Europe

3. Because You Don’t Understand Love, Dad

4. Because The Writing Was On The Wall

5. Because Finishing A Marathon Is A Great Life Goal

6. Because Sometimes You’re Just Not That Into Him

8. Because Who Turns Down a Modeling Contract?

9. Because You Can Do Better Than “Pre-Owned”

10. Because People Pay Good Money To Have You In Their Disney World Group

11. Because Petting Like This Is Suspicious

12. … After You’ve Been Pet Like This

13. Because This Sh*t Was Happening

14. Because You’re More Of A New York Times Reader

15. Because All Twins Eventually Go Their Separate Ways

16. Because Fashion Means Nothing To Some People

17. Because Animal Bullying Is A Serious Problem

18. Because Children Eventually Learn The Truth

19. Because We Were All Out Of Mountain Dew And Cheetos

20. Because You’ve Got To Give Your Solo Career A Try

21. Because “How My Hair Look, Mike?”

22. Because The Wrong Element Moved Into Town

23. Because You’re Asking The Wrong Question:

24. WHY DIDN’T YOU CROSS THE ROAD???

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