Why French Fries Are More Than Just A Pretty Side Order

We need to start getting serious about French fries. Their second-class treatment ends right now.

1. French fries being taken for granted is nothing new. Hell, they’re only acknowledged in the sides section of a menu. But when we fail to acknowledge the importance of French fries’ contributions to society, we’re only hurting ourselves.

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2. Because fries covered in Parmesan cheese are the perfect companion to a night of watching re-runs of “The Golden Girls.”

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3. And chowing down on these garlic fries while on a first date is the easiest way to tell someone that you’re not interested.

No more awkward good-byes for you!

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4. These animal style fries at In-N-Out make a great excuse for a cross-country road trip to Cali-for-ni-a.

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And without fries, we wouldn’t have all this delicious swag…

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5. Like fries that allow you to make long-distance calls.

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6. And really fabulous clothes for babies.

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7. Or a pair of earrings that will make you the star of your corporate retreat!

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8. And where would you lay your head if not for this fry-inspired bed?

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9. French fries have also helped our world develop into a more complex place…

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10. Take these curly fries wrapped around tiny hot dogs, for example.

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11. You’ll never eat boring old pigs in a blanket again!

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12. Chili without fries? That sounds like the saddest thing we’ve ever heard.

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13. And this intricately woven pile of fries challenges the way we think about space.

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14. Similarly, the structure of waffle fries serves as an architectural example of balance and strength.

Delicious balance.

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15. Plus, fries paired with dip illustrate that while we may be individuals, there will always be times when we have shared experiences.

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16. Even though language may be a barrier, French fries taste the same in every country, and that is beautiful.

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17. Without fries, pizza wouldn’t have a BFF!

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18. Same goes for this pathetic rack of ribs that got a total cool boost from its side of fries.

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19. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, French fries are a proven* aphrodisiac and have likely saved many of your relationships.

*Not necessarily true

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20. Or, at the very least, set the mood for the most romantic evening of your life.

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21. And let’s not forget all of the parties they’ve made less boring!

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22. To be fair, there’s a lot more to fries than just potato.

Take poutine fries, which are smothered in a loving blanket of cheese curds, gravy, and optional meat.

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23. Like these tasty Newfie fries that would make a great family meal.

These lovelies are topped with ground beef, hot dogs, dressing, cheese, and gravy.

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24. And how about these steak fries, covered in pieces of actual steak? A great source of iron.

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25. Without fries, you’d have no reason to order mussels

That’s the whole point of moules frites!

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26. Oh, you need something to start your day off right so you can be a productive citizen? You’re welcome. Love, home fries.

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27. We’re living in a world where our differences could divide us, but French fries’ ability to blend have been crucial in forging diplomatic relations.

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28. However, we’re still working on getting France to see what a big deal this is.


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