Why French Fries Are More Than Just A Pretty Side Order

We need to start getting serious about French fries. Their second-class treatment ends right now. posted on

1. French fries being taken for granted is nothing new. Hell, they’re only acknowledged in the sides section of a menu. But when we fail to acknowledge the importance of French fries’ contributions to society, we’re only hurting ourselves.

2. Because fries covered in Parmesan cheese are the perfect companion to a night of watching re-runs of “The Golden Girls.”

3. And chowing down on these garlic fries while on a first date is the easiest way to tell someone that you’re not interested.

No more awkward good-byes for you!

4. These animal style fries at In-N-Out make a great excuse for a cross-country road trip to Cali-for-ni-a.

And without fries, we wouldn’t have all this delicious swag…

5. Like fries that allow you to make long-distance calls.

6. And really fabulous clothes for babies.

7. Or a pair of earrings that will make you the star of your corporate retreat!

8. And where would you lay your head if not for this fry-inspired bed?

9. French fries have also helped our world develop into a more complex place…

10. Take these curly fries wrapped around tiny hot dogs, for example.

11. You’ll never eat boring old pigs in a blanket again!

12. Chili without fries? That sounds like the saddest thing we’ve ever heard.

13. And this intricately woven pile of fries challenges the way we think about space.

14. Similarly, the structure of waffle fries serves as an architectural example of balance and strength.

Delicious balance.

15. Plus, fries paired with dip illustrate that while we may be individuals, there will always be times when we have shared experiences.

16. Even though language may be a barrier, French fries taste the same in every country, and that is beautiful.

17. Without fries, pizza wouldn’t have a BFF!

18. Same goes for this pathetic rack of ribs that got a total cool boost from its side of fries.

19. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, French fries are a proven* aphrodisiac and have likely saved many of your relationships.

*Not necessarily true

20. Or, at the very least, set the mood for the most romantic evening of your life.

21. And let’s not forget all of the parties they’ve made less boring!

22. To be fair, there’s a lot more to fries than just potato.

Take poutine fries, which are smothered in a loving blanket of cheese curds, gravy, and optional meat.

23. Like these tasty Newfie fries that would make a great family meal.

These lovelies are topped with ground beef, hot dogs, dressing, cheese, and gravy.

24. And how about these steak fries, covered in pieces of actual steak? A great source of iron.

25. Without fries, you’d have no reason to order mussels

That’s the whole point of moules frites!

26. Oh, you need something to start your day off right so you can be a productive citizen? You’re welcome. Love, home fries.

27. We’re living in a world where our differences could divide us, but French fries’ ability to blend have been crucial in forging diplomatic relations.

28. However, we’re still working on getting France to see what a big deal this is.

C’MON, GUYS!

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