1. Stage 1: You wake up on Thanksgiving, excited to be with your family, celebrate, and eat until you pass out.
2. Stage 2: You go a little overboard with the planning and pick up double the pies you originally planned on. Because YOLO.
3. Stage 3: Your relatives arrive and you overhear one family member express disappointment about your current job/relationship status.
4. Stage 4: You decide that now is as good a time as any to fight about it.
5. Stage 5: But you remind yourself that this is just ONE DAY out of the entire year. YOU CAN DO THIS.
6. Stage 6: So you get the turkey all gussied up for the oven.
7. Stage 7: You stand in front of the oven for the next four to five hours, hoping that your close proximity will help it cook faster.
But it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. And all you feel is the gnawing pain of hunger.
8. Stage 8: FINALLY! THE TURKEY IS READY!
AND YOUR BODY IS READY!
9. Stage 9: Eat all of the things. All of them. Until there’s nothing but a shell of yourself left.
10. Stage 10: You enter a complete and utter food coma euphoria like you’ve never experienced before.
11. Stage 11: The unthinkable happens, and you start to feel a little woozy in the midst of your second helping.
12. Stage 12: But you rally, because dessert is served!
And you’re mildly horrified by how much you’re able to eat, even after all of the stuffing, gravy, and taters.
13. Stage 13: Someone has brought their new SO, and they inevitably say something super awkward.
14. Stage 14: And you quietly find amusement at whatever relative decides to speak their mind after their fourth glass of wine.
15. Stage 15: You remember that your family isn’t so bad, actually.
I mean, they’re related to you. So how bad can they be… right?
16. Stage 16: Satisfied, you return home, thankful that there will be another Thanksgiving NEXT YEAR.
- [A Harris County, Texas, sheriff's deputy was ambushed Friday night when a man walked up and repeatedly shot him from behind. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/sheriffs-deputy-shot-dead-in-ambush-at-texas-gas-station)
- [Dominica Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said that Tropical Storm Erika killed 20 people there, and set the island back 20 years from the damage. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/at-least-5-people-are-missing-after-tropical-storm-erika-thr)
- [Police are investigating the death of Jamycheal Mitchell, who was arrested months ago in Virginia for allegedly stealing about $5 worth of groceries. He was found dead in his jail cell last week. ›] (http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/black-man-held-for-months-for-stealing-5-worth-of-snacks-fou)