thanksgiving

The 16 Stages Of Thanksgiving, As Told By "Addams Family Values"

It’s a day for maize, the Native American word for corn, a turkey dinner, and… brotherhood! posted on

1. Stage 1: You wake up on Thanksgiving, excited to be with your family, celebrate, and eat until you pass out.

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HOORAY!

2. Stage 2: You go a little overboard with the planning and pick up double the pies you originally planned on. Because YOLO.

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3. Stage 3: Your relatives arrive and you overhear one family member express disappointment about your current job/relationship status.

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4. Stage 4: You decide that now is as good a time as any to fight about it.

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5. Stage 5: But you remind yourself that this is just ONE DAY out of the entire year. YOU CAN DO THIS.

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6. Stage 6: So you get the turkey all gussied up for the oven.

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7. Stage 7: You stand in front of the oven for the next four to five hours, hoping that your close proximity will help it cook faster.

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But it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. And all you feel is the gnawing pain of hunger.

8. Stage 8: FINALLY! THE TURKEY IS READY!

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AND YOUR BODY IS READY!

9. Stage 9: Eat all of the things. All of them. Until there’s nothing but a shell of yourself left.

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10. Stage 10: You enter a complete and utter food coma euphoria like you’ve never experienced before.

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11. Stage 11: The unthinkable happens, and you start to feel a little woozy in the midst of your second helping.

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12. Stage 12: But you rally, because dessert is served!

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And you’re mildly horrified by how much you’re able to eat, even after all of the stuffing, gravy, and taters.

13. Stage 13: Someone has brought their new SO, and they inevitably say something super awkward.

14. Stage 14: And you quietly find amusement at whatever relative decides to speak their mind after their fourth glass of wine.

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15. Stage 15: You remember that your family isn’t so bad, actually.

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I mean, they’re related to you. So how bad can they be… right?

16. Stage 16: Satisfied, you return home, thankful that there will be another Thanksgiving NEXT YEAR.

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