2. Or waking up in the middle of a nightmare when it’s still completely dark outside and being forced to try and fall back asleep.
3. Judgment from the pizza delivery guy when he realizes that XL pie is just for you.
4. The possibility that you’ll eat the entire pizza and die of happiness, because there’s no one around to help and/or judge you.
5. And the inevitable carb hallucinations that will follow and result in this.
7. Pretty much anytime you watch something scary, then realize no one can hear you scream.
8. Any kind of sound in the middle of the night, even if it’s just your own breathing.
12. The fact that you might become so lonely that you host cat dinner parties.
13. Anytime the phone rings and it’s an unknown number, which likely means it’s a serial killer.
14. Or anytime you hear someone in the hallway and they seem to be inching dangerously close to your doorframe.
16. Being the only one who has to pay all of the bills, and having to make the difficult choice between HBO and Showtime.
17. The fear that all of the doorknobs in the room you’re in will fall off, leaving you trapped inside.
Because you won’t be able to send one of these handy notes out the door.
18. Accidentally locking yourself out of the apartment, and being judged by your neighbors when you try to kick the door open.
19. Taking on an all-frozen-burrito diet, because there’s no one else you need to cook for.
20. Enjoying one of those frozen burritos, forgetting to chew, and choking to death.
23. The eerie silence that fills your room late at night and makes you question reality, pretty much.
24. Being home alone when this guy drives a car through your living room.
26. Getting sick and being the only one at your personal pity party.
27. Carrying all of the grocery bags up the stairs at once, because more than one trip is ridiculous.
In The News Today
- The top U.S. commander in Afghanistan called the hospital bombing that killed 22 people "a mistake." ›
- Takaaki Kajita and Arthur McDonald won the Nobel Prize in physics for their discovery that neutrinos have mass. ›
- In a Vanity Fair interview, Rihanna said Rachel Dolezal, who identifies as black even as her parents insist she was born white, "was a bit of a hero." ›