1. When they sing Elton John at the top of their lungs and are clearly off pitch.
3. When the holidays roll around and they try to out-festive you with a shocking amount of decor.
4. When they have nothing better to do than be nosy and ask who was leaving your apartment at midnight.
6. When they try to be your friend, even though you have nothing in common. At all.
7. When you catch them doing sketchy things, and you know that some shady business is going down next door.
8. When they passive-aggressively send you a note, and you have to answer it back.
9. When you hear their unpleasant sounds of fornication, including some grunts.
11. When they’re older, grumpy, and looking for something to do, like call the cops on you.
12. Or when they turn you into the old, grumpy one when they act like jerks. And it’s too awkward to ask them to stop, so you call the cops.
13. When you stare out the window and accidentally lock eyes with them, when all you wanted to do was be invisible.
14. Or when you decide to be one with nature, and walk around the house naked only to find that you’re not alone.
15. Worse is when you accidentally see them naked, and find it impossible to look them in the eye afterward.
16. When you bump into them, and they start to go off on a tangent about the landlord and it’s just like…
17. When you have to avoid making eyes at their dog because he “tends to be a biter!”
18. When they stink up the hall with their weird and unidentified smells.
19. When you get home from work and the first thing you hear is a knock on your door, because they have something to complain about.
20. And when they awkwardly hit on you, even though it’s clear that you’re so not into it.
21. When they have a child who won’t stop crying, and you hate them and that makes you feel like a bad person. (Even though you’re totally not.)
22. It doesn’t have to be a kid, though, because pets are just as annoying.
Even though they’ll never find one, sadly.