1. Commandment I: You shall not worship any other product but chut-i-ney.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: Your willingness to try other products shouldn’t be limited. But it’s also important not to lose sight of the one key ingredient that has always helped you look better. That ingredient is chut-i-ney.
2. Commandment II: You shall maintain an enviable physique through sport.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: Having the stamina and endurance of a thirteen year old takes a great deal of discipline. But anyone who wants to hold the key to personal fulfillment will want to nail this one down. So, turn on your Beyonce and get to work.
3. Commandment III: You shall be a musician.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: Look, if a bunch of hippies on the beach can do this, then so can you. Plus, people who play music get away with being shirtless more often.
4. Commandment IV: You shall be passionate about the details of life, and make florists pay for when they’ve wronged you.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: Everyone should strive to reach their full potential. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to push others who are falling far below your own to do the same.
5. Commandment V: You shall take pride in your job.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: Even if your job is just primarily making your roommates appreciate you, there’s an important dignity in that.
6. Commandment VI: Honor your sexual prowess.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: You’re the full package, so to speak, and your most important package should be aware of that, too.
7. Commandment VII: You shall wear clothing that is effortless, sexy, and fit for a prince.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: Let’s be honest, no one just rolls out of bed looking this good. But it’s important to make everyone around you feel inferior at all times, so dress to impress.
8. Commandment VIII: You shall be well-read in all genres. All of them.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: You want to be prepared for the moment when Jay-Z invites you over for a dinner party don’t you? Well, there’s no telling what Jay and Bey are influenced by these days, so you better start reading it all.
9. Commandment IX: You shall have a social calendar filled with Oscar winners.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: When you look back on your life and remember all of the accomplishments you managed to make, do you want to think about the parties you didn’t host? No, of course you don’t. So figure out a way to get that white tiger.
10. Commandment X: You shall have a loft filled with desirable furnishings that don’t include pine.
How it makes you a Renaissance man: I think it was Shakespeare who once said, “To thine own tastes be true,” or something. In other words, your home is a reflection of you, and you should treat it as such.
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