9 Questions I Have About This Creepy Jack In The Box Ad

Why isn't Jack sexting me?

1. Why isn't this bro more freaked out by a giant, talking ping-pong head?

That shit is scary, bro.

2. How old are these girls supposed to be?

Because this looks like a tween slumber party, judging by the polka dots and jammies.

3. Why wasn't I invited to this bizzarre sexting party?

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4. Why is this girl so easily swayed?

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5. Why is Jack giving it up for free? Does he have low self-esteem?

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6. Is she pissed because she didn't get a dick pic, or ...?

7. Is this what Jack's ... meat ... looks like?

8. Does this girl have hearts on her nails?! Because that shit is too cute!

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Girl, where did you get those nails done?!

9. And does anyone want to go get one of these with me?

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Because onion rings on a burger sounds pretty great, IRL.

Oh, and here's the sexting in full, for your Jack in the Box pleasure: