9 Questions I Have About This Creepy Jack In The Box Ad

Why isn’t Jack sexting me?

1. Why isn’t this bro more freaked out by a giant, talking ping-pong head?

That shit is scary, bro.

2. How old are these girls supposed to be?

Because this looks like a tween slumber party, judging by the polka dots and jammies.

3. Why wasn’t I invited to this bizzarre sexting party?

4. Why is this girl so easily swayed?

5. Why is Jack giving it up for free? Does he have low self-esteem?

6. Is she pissed because she didn’t get a dick pic, or …?

7. Is this what Jack’s … meat … looks like?

8. Does this girl have hearts on her nails?! Because that shit is too cute!

Girl, where did you get those nails done?!

9. And does anyone want to go get one of these with me?

Because onion rings on a burger sounds pretty great, IRL.

Oh, and here’s the sexting in full, for your Jack in the Box pleasure:

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Deputy Editorial Director, Cat Wrangler
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