For those of you who aren’t familiar, My Boyfriend’s Back is a delightful 1993 zombie film.
It’s about a high school senior who finally works up the nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams, only to be killed right after doing so. But death isn’t going to stop Johnny from taking Missy McCloud to the prom. So, he comes back. That’s right, he comes back for his one night of glory.
The film is campy, smart, and hopelessly romantic. In other words: it’s perfect. In terms of zombie romance competition, there isn’t much out there aside from Warm Bodies. And Shaun of the Dead can also be called a zombie rom-com, though the leading man isn’t one of the undead. The thing that My Boyfriend’s Back and Warm Bodies has in common is the zombie love interest. And, in this author’s humble opinion, My Boyfriend’s Back is the stronger movie. (Please read the rest of this post before lighting the torches and rushing my apartment!)
Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 10% … way harsh.
But Stephen Holden of The New York Times totally would’ve been my BFF.
Call me, bro.
Here are all of the extremely important reasons why you must watch this film:
1. Johnny, our hero, is played by Andrew Lowery and he’s the ultimate geeky dream boy.
Speaking of which, if anyone knows where the hell Lowery is now, LET A GIRL KNOW.
2. Plus, he says adorably sweet things that will melt your warm, human heart.
3. And this is Traci Lind, who plays Johnny’s love interest, Missy McCloud, and she’s a total babe too.
5. SPOILER: The reason why Johnny becomes a zombie, is that he plans a fake burglary to look like a hero in front of Missy.
What could go wrong when you ask your BFF to dress up as a robber, right? Everything.
6. And his BFF plays along with it, and dresses up as a robber, because that’s what REAL FRIENDS DO.
7. Of course, things go horribly and hilariously wrong when a REAL burglar robs the store.
Poor Eddie is just like, “BFF, PLEASE, THAT IS NOT ME, K?!”
8. Johnny jumps IN FRONT OF A BULLET to save Missy, and in doing so, gets shot. Obvi.
But he still manages to ask her to the prom, because that’s all he ever wanted in life. :::tears:::
9. Johnny dies. He’s straight up DEAD. But he crawls out of the grave, because he has a date to get to, damnit.
10. And everyone in town is totally OK with Johnny just… being back. From the dead.
Yes, there are moments of, “Wait, didn’t you die?” But it’s mostly brushed over in the funniest way possible.
11. He kind of just goes back to being the high school loser he was before…
13. Then tries to eat this poor lady in polka dots.
14. Eventually, he does eat someone. (He’s only a zombie, after all.) And that someone is Philip. Seymour. Hoffman.
15. But before he’s all gobbled up, he says really amazing things, like this:
16. Oh, and did I mention that a young Matthew McConaughey is in this movie too?
Check up on that gelled hair. Dayummmm.
17. So is Matthew Fox, and he’s got some seriously smooth moves.
Eat donkeys, you say? Just wait until you see what Johnny will be eating to stay with Missy later. (Hint: IT MIGHT BE YOU, FOX.)
18. And without being too on the nose, the movie manages to comment on bullying and prejudice.
Zombies and people who are different aren’t so different after all…
19. Eventually, Missy agrees to go out with Johnny, because he’s not like all the other boys.
20. There are some amazingly campy moments, like when Missy goes to nibble on Johnny’s ear and, well, gets an ear full.
21. Of course, there are obstacles to this Romeo and Juliet romance, like the fact that Johnny’s undead self is DYING AGAIN.
22. And the scientist who offers to help save his life realizes that he could make some serious money off of Johnny’s dead flesh.
23. Oh, and the town is totally anti-zombie and makes Missy feel like a trollop.
24. Her parents though are soooo not about to let her go out in public with a dead boy.
25. But in the end, Johnny fights for the one thing he really cares about.
26. And he proves that he would do ANYTHING for the woman he loves.
27. And Missy agrees to go to the prom with him, even if it means she’s shunned by everyone else.
28. Which means Johnny can get the one thing he died for: a dance with Missy at the prom.
29. They look so happy while dancing, that sometimes you weep uncontrollably from all of the feels.
I’m not saying that I wept, but I definitely loudly sobbed.
30. And then Johnny falls down, because he’s about to die, and all hope for happiness is lost.
SOBS, SO MANY SOBS.
31. But before he goes, Missy and Johnny say they love each other, and the onion ninjas come out FULL FORCE.
32. You think that’s the end, but it’s not… because Heaven made a mistake, and Johnny wasn’t supposed to die at all. So he’s given a second chance.
33. But he does the same thing again: he jumps in front of the bullet for Missy.
34. Only his life is spared this time, because the bullet hit the locket he has been trying to give Missy since the first grade.
It’s kind of amazing, because throughout the movie we know that Johnny has carried around this locket, waiting for the right moment, and now it’s saved his life.
35. Now Missy finally understands how Johnny feels, and he has the confidence to ask the all important question…
36. In conclusion: Zombie romance is real, and there should be more movies with Andrew Lowery so I can live again.
Thank you, and seriously, where the hell did Andrew Lowery run off to?!