23 Important Life Lessons From Passive Aggressive Notes

People have a lot of problems, basically.

1. A toaster is not a killer robot, bowling ball, or a “hot potato.”

2. Your fish is hungry, and writing passive aggressive notes about it.

3. Your coworker thinks you’re too happy to function.

4. The Lord hates Halloween candy.

5. Eat the cupcake. Just eat it.

6. You’re an ice monster, basically.

8. Don’t forget anyone’s birthday EVER.

9. Your poop smells.

10. Flush your way to success.

11. If you wash someone’s dirty dishes, you get to say whatever the eff you want.

12. Stop peeing on things that are not a toilet.

13. If you leave your children unattended, they will have the best time of their life.

14. The microwave isn’t broken, actually.

15. Your friend’s soup is laced with colon cleanser: DON’T EAT IT.

16. If someone gets upset about dog poop, staple some to their sign.

17. If you steal other people’s food, they will leave you a delicious fried chicken leg.

18. Trash cans grow depressed without their bags to keep them warm.

19. Don’t leave any evidence behind.

20. Use math to shame people.

21. Wrap you cheese OR ELSE.

22. Pubes are murderers, and should be arrested immediately.

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Deputy Editorial Director, Cat Wrangler
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