1. A toaster is not a killer robot, bowling ball, or a “hot potato.”
2. Your fish is hungry, and writing passive aggressive notes about it.
11. If you wash someone’s dirty dishes, you get to say whatever the eff you want.
13. If you leave your children unattended, they will have the best time of their life.
Via Flickr: esher27
15. Your friend’s soup is laced with colon cleanser: DON’T EAT IT.
16. If someone gets upset about dog poop, staple some to their sign.
17. If you steal other people’s food, they will leave you a delicious fried chicken leg.
18. Trash cans grow depressed without their bags to keep them warm.
Deputy Editorial Director, Cat Wrangler
Here Are The Top Stories
- President Obama unveiled a climate change plan on Monday that calls for federal limits on the amount of carbon power plants can produce.
- Puerto Rico has failed to make a $58 million debt payment, and credit rating agency Moody's says the U.S. territory is in default.
- The man accused of fatally shooting a Memphis, Tennessee, police officer on Saturday has turned himself in.