23 Important Life Lessons From Passive Aggressive Notes

People have a lot of problems, basically.

1. A toaster is not a killer robot, bowling ball, or a “hot potato.”

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2. Your fish is hungry, and writing passive aggressive notes about it.

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3. Your coworker thinks you’re too happy to function.

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4. The Lord hates Halloween candy.

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5. Eat the cupcake. Just eat it.

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6. You’re an ice monster, basically.

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7. School matters, folks.

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8. Don’t forget anyone’s birthday EVER.

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9. Your poop smells.

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10. Flush your way to success.

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11. If you wash someone’s dirty dishes, you get to say whatever the eff you want.

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12. Stop peeing on things that are not a toilet.

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13. If you leave your children unattended, they will have the best time of their life.

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14. The microwave isn’t broken, actually.

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15. Your friend’s soup is laced with colon cleanser: DON’T EAT IT.

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16. If someone gets upset about dog poop, staple some to their sign.

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17. If you steal other people’s food, they will leave you a delicious fried chicken leg.

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18. Trash cans grow depressed without their bags to keep them warm.

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19. Don’t leave any evidence behind.

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20. Use math to shame people.

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21. Wrap you cheese OR ELSE.

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22. Pubes are murderers, and should be arrested immediately.

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