How To Make Your Summer A "Wet Hot American Summer"

Because Michael Showalter wants you all inside of him. Wait…

1. Eat tons of BBQ and then MAKEEE OUTTT.

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2. Learn how to turn everything into a compliment.

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3. Hump a refrigerator.

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4. And smear mud on your ass.

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6. And then have Janeane Garofalo marry you and your new lover.

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7. Set unrealistic expectations for everyone around you.

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8. But know that they won’t live up to those. At. All.

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9. Thwart sexual advances from Camp Directors.

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11. And swimming buddies.

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12. Pretty much just fuck everyone, really.

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13. On that note: Be slutty!

People love sluts!

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14. Like, really slutty.

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15. Taking off your shirt should help with that.

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16. Oh, and don’t forget to buy extra lube!!!

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17. Acknowledge your own shortcomings.

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18. As well as everyone else’s.

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19. Pull out the jazz hands whenever possible.

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20. Go into town, even if it’s just for an hour.

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21. Trash a Nurse’s office

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22. Buy booty shorts that barely hide your balls.

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23. Cry it out when you need to.

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24. And when crying isn’t enough, just say exactly what you’re feeling.

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