2. Learn how to turn everything into a compliment.
6. And then have Janeane Garofalo marry you and your new lover.
7. Set unrealistic expectations for everyone around you.
8. But know that they won’t live up to those. At. All.
9. Thwart sexual advances from Camp Directors.
11. And swimming buddies.
12. Pretty much just fuck everyone, really.
13. On that note: Be slutty!
People love sluts!
15. Taking off your shirt should help with that.
16. Oh, and don’t forget to buy extra lube!!!
19. Pull out the jazz hands whenever possible.
20. Go into town, even if it’s just for an hour.
21. Trash a Nurse’s office
- The man accused in Friday's Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado made his first court appearance. Charges are expected to be formally filed on Dec. 9. ›
- Cyber Monday 2015 could be the biggest online sales day in history, according to data from Adobe. Shoppers are on track to spend nearly $3 billion 💳📲
- And there's a hilarious new rap meme of Pope Francis, thanks to a photo taken over the weekend of him giving his blessing 🙏🎤 ›