1. So, you want to be a goth teen? Great! This is Lydia, and she’s the Princess of the Undead.
Stick with her and you’ll go far in the underworld, kids.
2. Step 1: Make the commitment to go on this goth journey solo, because loneliness is a key ingredient.
3. Step 2: Pick an unusual accessory!
If you don’t have a lace choker lying around, try stringing some spare keys to fishing line. Or anything that makes other people uncomfortable, really.
4. Step 3: Perfect your sullen “Really?” face.
You’ll need to make it every time someone judges you for your lifestyle.
7. Step 5: Goths prefer darkness, so pick outfits that look best in subdued light.
8. Step 6: In fact, practice a shocked face for when you’re forced to see actual sunlight.
9. Step 7: Become a voracious reader of all things disturbing.
10. Step 8: Always look like you’re filled with anguish and despair.
If you’re having a hard time conjuring up this look, just imagine that your parents are sending you to cheerleading camp all summer. Months filled with smiles, sunshine, and pleated whites. :::shivers:::
11. Step 9: Never EVER smile. Unless you’re in the presence of the undead, and then it’s fine.
But even then, it’s kind of NOT fine!