Let me take you back… The town is Capeside. The year is 2000. Peasant tops and flared jeans are just starting to become a thing.
And the song is "I Don't Want To Wait" by Paula Cole.
Go ahead, press play, then close your eyes... Sing along... I don't wanna WAIT.
Yes, friends, welcome to DAWSON'S CREEK.
You may remember that the episode starts with Dawson and Joey on a shopping trip (LOL), because Dawson's mom is getting remarried to her ex-husband (aka Dawsons' daddy).
Then there's pretty Pacey. He's threatening to leave for the summer on his boat. He's going to the Florida Keys, or something.
And here's Michelle Williams, or as some may call her, JEN. She's everything.
Michelle Williams is also very mad at Michael Pitt in this episode. They went to prom together and then everything went to hell.
She basically tells him to fuck off.
Meanwhile, Andie is really OWNING the whole early '00s fashion game with these overalls and iron-on dog patch.
After her whirlwind shopping spree, Joey's cruising home when beautiful Doug pulls her over. He explains that Pacey is peacing out, and she should probably stop him.
Later that evening, at pretty Pacey's farewell party, the gang is doing a whole lotta complaining and eating.
To which Grams is like, "Shut. Up."
When Joey finally catches up to Pacey, he's actually being super creepy...
And really ups the crazy factor by writing "ASK ME TO STAY" on a wall in red paint*.
Meanwhile, the next day at Dawson's parents' re-marriage ceremony...
... Joey and all of us still have no idea why she's the Maid of Honor.
Luckily, pretty Pacey took a shower so he looks *slightly* less creepy as he burns a hole through the back of Joey's head.
And on the other side of town, Michelle Williams is wearing faux leather pants and looking FANTASTIC.
She decides to give Michael Pitt one more chance, and confesses her love SLASH humiliates him in front of the football team.
Speaking of humiliation, Dawson interrupts Pacey and Joey awkwardly talking about their future together.
Important to note: This very '00s disposable camera.
Dawson is basically fucking PISSED, because a) Pacey is crashing this wedding and b) Dawson's always upset about something.
OK, now it's game time. Stop what you're doing. Take a deep breath, and let's get into the reason we're all here...
That's right. It's time for the best man speech that begins Dawson's slow unraveling into UGLY CRY FACE TIME.
Joey, feeling intrigued by the idea of being able to escape with pretty Pacey and come back to Dawson, asks, "R u 4 real?"
BREATHE. Because they then have an INSANELY long and painfully awkward conversation about the fact that Joey wants pretty Pacey's D.
And Dawson "WALL OF TEXT" Leery just keeps going, for like, 10 minutes.
Shhh, be quiet and BEHOLD: The last words Dawson says to Joey before Ugly Cry Face Time.
Joey: "K."
Here it comes...
THE UGLY CRY FACE.
::: softly sings :::
So there you have it: Joey's desire for pretty Pacey gave us the greatest gift of all.
Their slurpy sex sounds will forever ring in Dawson's ears...
As they spend the summer together on a boat, while Dawson cries himself to sleep.
The End.
