1. When you arrive early to the airport, and are rewarded with a line like this in return.
What fresh hell is this?!
2. When someone asks to see your ID, but you can’t find it anywhere.
It’s in my bag right?! It has to be in there, because if it’s not, that means I’ll miss my flight and have to go through this insanity all over again.
3. Getting assigned to a zone that will absolutely be called last, and knowing you’ll have to check your carry-on.
The whole point of packing a carry-on is that you get to carry it ON. THE. PLANE.
4. Having to take off your shoes, and realizing that your socks make you look like a crazy person.
Or worse, when you wear shoes without socks, and have to walk through security in your bare feet. (RIP happiness.)
5. When airport security needs to open your bag, and you realize you’ve made a huge packing mistake.
6. Having no battery life on your phone, and noticing that there is no space to charge it at the charging station.
Oh, you need to charge your laptop and your iPhone? That’s cool, I’ll just be quietly seething over here.
7. Having to make the choice between getting hot food or missing your flight.
8. And when you realize the cost of buying ANYTHING anywhere at the airport.
$13 for a banana and a prepackaged sandwich? Great.
9. When someone “accidentally” bumps into you with their massive bags.
10. When you see signs like this that make you question how the world works.
11. When you’re stuck in line, on the brink of missing your flight, and you watch the pre-TSA screening line just breezing on past you.
Zero fucks were given.
13. The feeling of intense shame as all of your bits are patted down by a complete stranger.
I should’ve worked out more before this. Damnit.
14. That horrible feeling when you have a connecting flight that you’ll never make, but the airline won’t listen.
15. Coming up with new and inventive ways to sleep, because airport seats are built to mock you.
16. When you hear a crackled voice over the PA system tell you that your flight has been delayed. Again.
17. Seeing people who are still confused about getting things into bins in the TSA line, even though we’ve been doing this for 12 years.
“What? I have to take of my shoes and put my things in a tray?!”
18. How every airline employee uses a vocabulary that’s completely and pointlessly unlike the way any other human being in the world talks.
No one calls a bathroom a lavatory.
19. People who clog the gate entrance before the rows are called and slow the whole boarding process down.
WE ARE ALL GOING TO GET ON THE PLANE, IT’S OK.
20. When you think you got in the short baggage claim line, but then the one next to you starts flying by, and you die inside a little.
The baggage carousel, in general, is stressful.
21. When you have to try and explain where you are to someone picking you up, and you realize there are 15 different “Terminal A” signs.
And then you just wait, like a puppy in a pet store.
22. And when people are picking you up, they have to keep circling the airport in their car. Because terrorism.
23. And the worst: when your flight is delayed and they won’t tell you why, or how long it will be.
DO YOU HAVE TIME TO GET A SNACK?! WHO KNOWS.
Hey, at least we’re all in this together… RIGHT?!
…Unless you try and cut me in line.
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