A Dude’s Guide To Making Out With A Beer Bottle

You’ll never have a dull drinking experience again!

1. If you can, start practicing at an offensively young age.

2. But if you’re starting later in life, fill a baby bottle with beer to help you catch up with the toddler group.

3. Practice licking often, and not just with beer bottles!

4. Try lapping at a comically large bottle of wine.

5. Or practice on your hot pink bowling ball, for example.

6. When you’re ready for the real beer bottle deal, bring a friend for moral support.

7. Have him hold the bottle while you lick.

8. Or feed it to you, like a momma beer bear.

9. Eventually, solo beer licking glory will be yours for the taking!

10. And it will be stupendous.

Happy licking, everyone!

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