A Dude’s Guide To Making Out With A Beer Bottle

You’ll never have a dull drinking experience again!

1. If you can, start practicing at an offensively young age.

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2. But if you’re starting later in life, fill a baby bottle with beer to help you catch up with the toddler group.

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3. Practice licking often, and not just with beer bottles!

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4. Try lapping at a comically large bottle of wine.

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5. Or practice on your hot pink bowling ball, for example.

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6. When you’re ready for the real beer bottle deal, bring a friend for moral support.

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7. Have him hold the bottle while you lick.

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8. Or feed it to you, like a momma beer bear.

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9. Eventually, solo beer licking glory will be yours for the taking!

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10. And it will be stupendous.

Happy licking, everyone!

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