A 12-Step Guide To Meeting Your Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend

Because you’re going to need all the help you can get.

1. Step 1: Admit that you’re powerless over this situation.

And you might also be curious to meet her…? Or not.

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2. Step 2: Come to the realization that you can’t do this alone, and invite your friends over for help.

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3. And by “help” we mean cyberstalking this girl.

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4. After four to five hours of this, one of your friends will inevitably say something like the below, which will lead you to the next step.

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5. Step 3: Buy a voodoo doll and humbly ask a higher being for help.

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6. If that doesn’t work, make direct appeals to people who can help get you out of this situation. Permanently.

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7. If/when those options don’t pan out…

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8. Step 4: Prepare an outfit that will make you feel undeniably fierce.

Because, let’s be honest, girls check out each other more than guys do.

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9. Step 5: Take personal inventory of all the things that make you fabulous and turn to them when you need strength.

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10. Step 6: Admit that regardless of what happens, you will land on top, because your boyfriend worships the ground you float on.

And she is no longer his girlfriend for a reason.

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11. Step 7: When you meet the ex, be nice.

After all, this is a stranger, and you can’t judge until you know her better. (Then judge harshly, if you like.)

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12. Unless she says or does something that makes you blind with rage. In which case, you can pull out some backhanded comment, like this.

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13. Step 8: When they make an inside joke, keep your cool.

Remember, you’re the cool new girlfriend, and she’s the ex with jokes that are old and tired.

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14. Step 9: And if small talk turns to ex talk, change the subject immediately.

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15. Step 10: Having spent all of five minutes at this highly enjoyable meeting, it’s time to make a quick exit.

Keep the meeting short and sweet, for your benefit and hers.

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16. Step 11: When your boyfriend says, “That was fun,” it’s OK to fake a smile.

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17. Even though inside you might be like…

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18. Step 12: But go ahead and brush your shoulders off, because you made it through meeting your boyfriend’s ex.

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19. Until he suggests hanging out with her again…

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