1. Step 1: Admit that you’re powerless over this situation.
And you might also be curious to meet her…? Or not.
2. Step 2: Come to the realization that you can’t do this alone, and invite your friends over for help.
4. After four to five hours of this, one of your friends will inevitably say something like the below, which will lead you to the next step.
5. Step 3: Buy a voodoo doll and humbly ask a higher being for help.
6. If that doesn’t work, make direct appeals to people who can help get you out of this situation. Permanently.
8. Step 4: Prepare an outfit that will make you feel undeniably fierce.
Because, let’s be honest, girls check out each other more than guys do.
9. Step 5: Take personal inventory of all the things that make you fabulous and turn to them when you need strength.
10. Step 6: Admit that regardless of what happens, you will land on top, because your boyfriend worships the ground you float on.
And she is no longer his girlfriend for a reason.
11. Step 7: When you meet the ex, be nice.
After all, this is a stranger, and you can’t judge until you know her better. (Then judge harshly, if you like.)
12. Unless she says or does something that makes you blind with rage. In which case, you can pull out some backhanded comment, like this.
13. Step 8: When they make an inside joke, keep your cool.
Remember, you’re the cool new girlfriend, and she’s the ex with jokes that are old and tired.
14. Step 9: And if small talk turns to ex talk, change the subject immediately.
15. Step 10: Having spent all of five minutes at this highly enjoyable meeting, it’s time to make a quick exit.
Keep the meeting short and sweet, for your benefit and hers.