27 Reasons Why You’re Lucky To Be Sober Right Now

Mainly it’s that you’re awake, and people aren’t taping things to your face.

1. You’re not using cardboard boxes as accessories.

ID: 1172658

2. This isn’t what you see when you look in the mirror.

ID: 1173176

3. You can leave McDonald’s whenever the hell you want.

ID: 1173044

4. You’re not passed out awkwardly on the train.

ID: 1172559

5. You didn’t fall asleep before eating your delicious sandwich.

ID: 1172561

6. The cops aren’t coming for you.

Or maybe they are for other reasons. No judgment.

ID: 1172575

7. You know that hand sanitizer is meant for your hands.

ID: 1172712

8. You’re not passed out on the street next to a cooler.

That cooler is probably empty, or filled with empty cans.

ID: 1172597

9. Your BFF isn’t a toilet.

ID: 1172641

10. You’re not making sexual advances toward an inanimate object.

ID: 1172655

11. A potted plant didn’t die because of you.

ID: 1172656

12. You’re not the poor man’s Jack Sparrow.

ID: 1172779

13. You didn’t write write this diary entry.

ID: 1172880

14. People aren’t photobombing your nap.

ID: 1173073

15. You weren’t forced into sightseeing.

You also know how to spell sightseeing.

ID: 1173039

16. Your body doesn’t fall out of chairs.

ID: 1173219

17. Your sunburn is even.

ID: 1173183

18. Gravity isn’t working against you.

ID: 1173264

19. You didn’t just fall off a roof.

ID: 1173285

20. Your chest isn’t an ashtray.

ID: 1173323

21. You’re not duct taped to a wall.

ID: 1173985

22. Pennies aren’t superglued to your face.

ID: 1173997

23. This isn’t you.

ID: 1173987

24. And neither is this.

ID: 1174005

25. You know how to use a bathroom.

ID: 1173102

26. Your friends aren’t cutting off all your hair.

ID: 1173145

27. And you can hold up your own head for a mugshot.

ID: 1173181

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