5. You didn’t fall asleep before eating your delicious sandwich.
6. The cops aren’t coming for you.
Or maybe they are for other reasons. No judgment.
7. You know that hand sanitizer is meant for your hands.
8. You’re not passed out on the street next to a cooler.
That cooler is probably empty, or filled with empty cans.
10. You’re not making sexual advances toward an inanimate object.
15. You weren’t forced into sightseeing.
You also know how to spell sightseeing.
18. Gravity isn’t working against you.
26. Your friends aren’t cutting off all your hair.
- World leaders are gathering in Paris for the United Nations summit on climate change 🌍 ›
- Planned Parenthood officials said they believed Friday's shooting at a Colorado Springs clinic was motivated by opposition to abortion. ›
- And Kobe Bryant wrote a poem announcing that he's retiring from professional basketball at the end of this season 🏀🎭 ›