21 Ways To Break Up According To The Movies

Just in case you need some inspiration!

1. Tell them they’re great, but Paul Rudd is better.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=zHY93RaSWf4.

Because Paul Rudd is hot. Like, cut from marble. And right now you’re all about sex with Paul Rudd.

2. Or if they’re totally hot, there is such a thing as being too hot to date.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=n6MBYDGr9jM.

Even though there really isn’t.

3. Invite them over and have a super-hot, totally naked American chick waiting in your bathroom.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=dhPSvTyGSgs.

In Bridget Jones’s Diary, it wasn’t a planned breakup, but yours will be!

4. Pull a Bernadine and burn everything to the damn ground. Burn it all.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZGwV4mrOCJo.

5. Have sex with your couples’ therapist, then hold an impromptu session to break the news.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ML1_2lHFftE.

6. Remind them of each and every one of their flaws, corner them into a place where they’re totally enraged, and say something like, “I want to be left alone,” and then agree with that statement.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nn3I6-DBLJM.

7. Be brutally honest. Like, so honest that they won’t be able to live with themselves afterward.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=zgiztemSaQk.

8. Basically be a total dick.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FIvvZNBc8qE.

9. If you’re dating someone who’s sensitive: Invite them to a shitty diner and proceed to demoralize them before offering up a friendship olive branch.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=iUVgAwLr1GQ.

10. Basically make them think they’re too poor for you.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=8l7LGK2hnQw.

11. Or too rich, basically.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Rq0apHW6Ezw.

12. Be so incredibly dreamy that when they look into your eyes they become confused and accidentally end things.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nQJRDIXCcRs.

Like, too handsome to understand.

13. Show them how little you care by peeing on your wedding ring.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pYI0bXZVZek.

14. Dig up some dirt on their former ho-ish ways, refuse to accept them for who they are, and force them into dumping you by humiliating them. Totes classy.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZgYVgKNotVc.

15. Have an illicit love affair for years and, when it’s clear you both should be together in spite of the odds, pretty much refuse to grow a pair.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=KVK6yLqY54w.

16. Tell them it’s time to break up because you’re a psychopath.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=VQ440xOiyho.

17. Or just let them draw that conclusion on their own.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=zAEJt-Rvaqo.

18. Let them down easy by leaving them jilted at the altar and feeling like a total loser.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=mV81fil6YNc.

19. Tell them you don’t give a damn, like a boss.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=NX0sOWKzUos.

20. Give a series of vague excuses that will rattle their neuroses for weeks, months — hell, maybe years.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ettElmB0pMQ.

It could even start to haunt their creative visions.

21. And if you’re concerned about any awkwardness after the breakup, just kill them.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ErqotNH65_E.

We’re joking, but the movies aren’t.