18 Reasons Why Jessica Chastain Is Cooler Than You

Just try not to fall in love with her. We double dog dare you.

1. Sometimes people just give her statues!

Kevin Winter / Getty Images
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2. And when they do, she dances like this.

Dance on, girl.

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3. She looks good, even when she’s the only one not wearing camo.

Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc., Jonathan Olley / AP
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4. This yearbook photo is how she got discovered*!

(*Discovered to be the only person alive who takes fabulous yearbook photos.)

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5. She’s dating Brad Pitt AND Sean Penn.

Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

They like to swap nights, like sister husbands.

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6. Just kidding, she’s dating Loki from “The Avengers.”

Dave M. Benett / Getty Images

Get it, girl.

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7. This is her three-legged dog.

Zelig Shaul/ACE/INFphoto.com
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His name is Chaplin. They like long walks on the beach.

Zelig Shaul/ACE/INFphoto.com

And, again, he’s got three legs.

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8. Her credits include “Madagascar 3.”

And she lists that film in her playbill bio.

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9. She has really big hair. It’s filled with secrets!

Really terrible secrets that will haunt your waking dreams.

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10. She fights crime in her Louboutins.

Henry Lamb/Photowire/BEImages

And then hides the bodies in Sean Penn’s mansion.

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11. Her celebrity crush is Sirius Black.

Or Gary Oldman. Whatever works.

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12. Her clothes inexplicably fall off just so we can know what heaven is like.

Courtesy of British GQ / Via gq-magazine.co.uk
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13. She’s a ginger.

Redheads, unite!

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14. Sometimes she’s blonde, though.

Courtesy of DreamWorks
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15. She really likes old people.

This one happens to be her grandma, and she is faboo.

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16. Anna Wintour wants to sleep with her.

Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images
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17. So does Amanda Seyfried.

Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic
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18. The Olsen twins just like to hold each other and stand next to her.

Larry Busacca / Getty Images

They can’t handle all of the redhead heat she radiates.

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