1. Sometimes people just give her statues!
3. She looks good, even when she’s the only one not wearing camo.
4. This yearbook photo is how she got discovered*!
(*Discovered to be the only person alive who takes fabulous yearbook photos.)
5. She’s dating Brad Pitt AND Sean Penn.
They like to swap nights, like sister husbands.
6. Just kidding, she’s dating Loki from “The Avengers.”
Get it, girl.
His name is Chaplin. They like long walks on the beach.
And, again, he’s got three legs.
8. Her credits include “Madagascar 3.”
And she lists that film in her playbill bio.
9. She has really big hair. It’s filled with secrets!
Really terrible secrets that will haunt your waking dreams.
10. She fights crime in her Louboutins.
And then hides the bodies in Sean Penn’s mansion.
11. Her celebrity crush is Sirius Black.
Or Gary Oldman. Whatever works.
12. Her clothes inexplicably fall off just so we can know what heaven is like.
14. Sometimes she’s blonde, though.
15. She really likes old people.
This one happens to be her grandma, and she is faboo.
16. Anna Wintour wants to sleep with her.
17. So does Amanda Seyfried.
18. The Olsen twins just like to hold each other and stand next to her.
They can’t handle all of the redhead heat she radiates.
- Two people on a civilian airplane were killed in a mid-air collision with a military jet in South Carolina. The F-16 jet pilot was ejected and is "in good shape."
- Subway has suspended Jared Fogle, the weight-loss guy from their commercials, due to an FBI investigation.
- Bounce TV and BET will no longer air series featuring Bill Cosby after court records showed he admitted to buying sedatives to give to women.