1. Lesson 1: Fall in love with a farm boy, because they are loyal as hell.
Another lesson: “As you wish” means “I love you.”
4. Lesson 4: When it comes to morons, make sure to put them in their place.
5. Lesson 5: Always introduce yourself before killing someone.
Just because you’re a killer doesn’t mean you can’t be polite!
6. Lesson 6: Use “Inconceivable!” as much as possible.
7. Lesson 7: When it’s someone’s first time, be gentle.
8. Lesson 8: You are spoiled.
Luckily, older people will remind you of that.
9. Lesson 9: Spend years building up a resistance to Iocane powder.
You never know when you’ll need it!
10. Lesson 10: BEWARE OF R.O.U.S.!
11. Lesson 11: Get a wingman.
Not just because they’ll help you get a girl, but they’ll also do your bidding.
12. Lesson 12: Dunk your head in hot and cold water to stay awake.
13. Lesson 13: Don’t mess with Sicilians.
On a related note: The Godfather series also reinforced this lesson.
14. Lesson 14: Love is the same in every language.
Even the language of impressive clergymen.
15. Lesson 15: Sometimes a little white lie is best.
16. Lesson 16: Never assume someone is left handed, or right handed.
Actually, just never assume anything about anyone. Especially the Man In Black.
- President Obama said that he was "deeply disturbed" by the video showing the police shooting of black teenager Laquan McDonald in Chicago. ›
- Frank Gifford's family says the NFL star had CTE, the degenerative brain disease linked to football. He died in August. ›
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›