17 Awful Date Night Ideas That Will Make Your Partner Breakup With You

Warning: Only try these if your goal is to be alone for the rest of your life!

1. Sneaking off to the watering hole for a little skinny dipping, in alligator infested waters.

2. A movie night that involves a Groupon you got for a Katherine Heigl film.

3. Having a peanut butter and crack sandwich for dinner, made by a crackhead.

Unless the crack head is actually Dave Chappelle, in which case that might be the best date ever.

4. A couple of hours spent power washing each other’s houses.

5. Setting up a night where you both babysit for someone else’s kids, while that couple goes off for their own special evening.

6. Going to the free clinic to get some flu shots.

7. A fun trip to Jiffy Lube for a tire rotation and oil change.

8. Unless you’re Harold and Maude, a date night at a funeral parlor.

9. A trip to Furry-Con, where you forget to bring your anthropomorphic animal costumes.

Fur-con is a real convention that happens, folks.

10. A couple’s visit to the dentist for a root canal.

11. A “Two and a Half Men” marathon of only Ashton Kutcher’s episodes.

12. An adventure to the Laundry Depot so you can make your whites whiter.

13. A surprise visit to the local animal shelter, not to adopt but just to “look.”

14. An impromptu shaving party, where you lather each other up and take turns.

15. A shopping spree at the Crocs store.

16. Tickets to a seminar hosted by Mystery, The Pickup Artist.

17. And having a fitness-focused night by running laps around the local prison yard.

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