1. The “Garden Party Mambo”
Use it when… The Beverly Hills housewives you invited over for a casual tea party have tired of the pâté and require further amusement.
2. The “Formal Thug On A Mission”
Use it when… The lesser beings you go to high school with are trying to decide who to crown as their king.
3. “Grandma’s Winter Wonderland”
Use it when… You’re trapped in a cabin with your family for the holidays and drank a little too much of that spiced eggnog.
4. The “Lazy Sunday Surprise”
Use it whenever… You’re waiting on your butler to fetch some breakfast and need to find a way to pass the time.
5. “Snappy Smile Brigade”
Use it when… You’re just feeling plain happy!
6. “Jump On It”
Use it when… You’re part of a dance competition and need to use your body to seduce the judges.
7. The “Step Back & Watch Me Groove”
Use it when… You’re at a work function and know you need a little something extra to get that promotion you’ve been gunning for.
8. The “Churning Wave Adventure”
Use it when… You need to confuse and/or hypnotize someone into doing your bidding. Being shirtless helps.
9. The “Saucy Butterfly”
Use it when… Your arch-nemesis gets kicked out from the country club and you want to celebrate.
10. The “Proud As A Peacock”
Use it when… You give zero fucks about what the person looking at you thinks.
11. The “Tom Jones”
Use it whenever… You hear “It’s Not Unusual.”
12. The “I Can’t Control My Sexuality, It Controls Me”
Use it when… Sorry, it will just happen and you won’t even see it coming.
13. “Man In The Mirror”
Use it when… You’re trying to explain the birds and the bees to a kid, but don’t really want to explain it, so you dance it out.
14. The “Hole In One”
Use it when… You’re sporting a collared shirt and have just achieved victory over your enemies.
15. “Tuck and Roll”
Use it when… You see your ex and want to deftly avoid any confrontation.
16. And the “Too Sexy For My Cardigan”
Use it when… You want older rich ladies to throw money at you.
- A BuzzFeed News investigation lifts the lid on a security scandal that the police and MI5 tried to keep secret.