33 Struggles Of The Post-Grad Sorority Girl

Not for life, but four years.

1. The sorority uniform feels a little out of place in the real world.

Doesn’t everyone wear this?

2. For some reason, adults wearing bows are generally frowned upon.

What do you mean my bow looks childish?

3. And no one gives a shit about your new monogrammed Lilly bag.

But it’s so pretty!

4. In August, your younger sisters start posting about going back to school for Work Week, but you’re going to work every day.

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Because for you, every week is work week.

5. You come up with a really great craft idea for a little, but have no new little to craft it for.

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6. When you talk about the baby you already have, people think you actually have an infant child.

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Not quite.

7. And you just don’t understand why your new friends/boyfriend/husband doesn’t enjoy stalking your chapter’s new pledge class.

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8. Apparently, you’re the only one on the Office Charity Event Planning Committee who thought philanthropy events always consisted of shirtless men.

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Awkward.

9. You would actually prefer a monotonous chapter listening to girls fight over a t-shirt color to your Tuesday board meetings.

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10. And you’ve found that emojis aren’t usually considered “professional” communication.

11. You’ve had to adjust to making your own food after the house chef has made it for you for the past two years.

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I’m lost without you, Chef Beth.

12. Your sisters are a two-hour flight away from you instead of a two-second walk into the room next door.

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13. Group text is the next best thing to living in a six-man suite.

14. You have to actually try to make plans for the weekend. Ahead of time.

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And you can just forget about Thursdays.

15. Move-out day was probably the worst day of your life…

16. Because it seems that sometime in the past four years, you forgot how to function alone.

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17. When you meet a fellow alumna of your sorority and instantly become best friends.

Even if you judge her a little bit because you know ALL about that chapter.

18. You want to get involved in your local alumnae chapter, but it’s just a bunch of old ladies who don’t really know what sororities are like these days.

You haven’t seen what I’ve seen.

19. You devise a plan to become an advisor to your local collegiate chapter when you and your boyfriend start talking marriage just so you can have a candle pass when you get engaged.

20. Your first instinct will always be to squat for a group photo.

21. You become fully aware that you have more in common with 15 year-old girls than women five years older than you.

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22. You’re still a little hesitant to be friends with someone of a certain chapter.

23. When you see a college-aged girl wearing your letters and you want to introduce yourself, but don’t at the risk of looking like the alum who can’t let it go.

24. You have an inappropriately emotional response to your chapter getting put on probation.

25. When you discover a new song and just know that it would be your frat jam.

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26. When you go back to visit your house, and the new girls are like:

Excuse me, but who are YOU?!

27. Or if you go to a chapter event and they all look at you like:

28. But it has become your great honor to hand down your old ID’s.

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Even if the girl who ends up with them has no clue who you are.

29. While you’re in town, you have to use Urban Dictionary to understand the new lingo of your younger sisters.

But what does it mean?!

30. When you finally make it back to YOUR bar, you are startled by how young everyone looks.

Is this a playground? Were you in kindergarten yesterday?

31. And your body doesn’t know how to handle reunion weekends.

Ouch.

32. But you have to admit, not sharing a closet makes being a grown-up almost worth it.

33. And you wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

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