Songs To Get You Through All 3 Stages Of Your Heartbreak Funk

I experience romantic failures much more often than I do laundry. Or cook myself dinner. Or change my pants. So I've developed the formula to OVERCOME. These aren't all the best songs in the world, but my god, they will get you through.

Step 1: Self Pity/Wallow

Get a box of Franzia and draw yourself a bath (or slowly slide down your shower wall into a fit of tears). This is all about the wallow. Give in to your "woe is me" mentality.

The National- Sorrow

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Sorrow found me when I was young/sorrow waited/sorrow won... I don't wanna get over you

Adele- Don't You Remember

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I hope that you find the missing piece/to bring you back to me/why don't you remember?/don't you remember?/the reason you loved me before

(really almost any Adele song will do)

Bonnie Raitt- I Can't Make You Love Me

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I will give up this fight/cause I can't make you love me if you don't/you can't make your heart feel something it won't

Step 2- YOU'RE THE WORST I DON'T EVEN CARE WHATEVER I'M OVER IT

Trade in your (cheap) wine for some (cheap) whiskey. It's about to get real.

Alanis Morissette- You Oughta Know

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I'm not gonna fade/as soon as you close your eyes and you know it/and every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back/I hope you feel it.

Justin Timberlake- Cry Me A River

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Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn/to cry, cry me a river

Beyonce- Irreplacable

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You must not know 'bout me/I can have another you in a minute/matter fact, he'll be here in a minute

Step 3- I'm gonna do me.

Congratulations! You've passed the sad-sack stage AND the angry bitter stage. You're almost a functional human again! Just listen to these uplifting jams and remember YOU GOT THIS. Throw the box of wine/funnel and the bottle of 711 whiskey aside. It's time for a lighthearted cocktail.

Sara Bareilles- Gonna Get Over You

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I simmer then I burn for a someone/the wrong one...I'll be alright/once I find the other side of someday

Destiny's Child- Survivor

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Thought I couldn't breathe without you, I'm inhaling/You thought I couldn't see without you, perfect vision/You thought I couldn't last without you, but I'm lastin'/You thought that I would die without you but I'm livin'/Thought that I would fail without you but I'm on top

Jason Derulo- Ridin' Solo

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I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine/I'm lovin' cloud nine, my head's in the sky/I'm solo, I'm ridin' solo

When in doubt, listen to Ignition Remix on loop.

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