1.
Summer is one big barf fest.
2.
As ugly as they are, you appreciate Crocs because they at least contain the foot.
3.
Whenever your friends go on vacation, you have to speed scroll past all of their #toesinthesand pics.
4.
If you get onto a subway car with a foot-themed ad, you promptly switch trains.
5.
Your version of hell would be working at a nail salon that specialized in pedicures for particularly gnarly foot owners.
6.
If this ever happened to your pillow you would have to destroy both the pillow and the person who committed the crime.
7.
This is you every time someone jokes about having a foot fetish.
8.
Foot rubs: You don't give them, you don't receive them.
9.
If you accidentally catch a glimpse of a truly grotesque pair of footsies, it can straight up ruin your day.
10.
You wish water shoes were required footwear at all public pools.
11.
You have actual hate for the person who invented the peep toe pump.
12.
You're skeptical of homes that require you to take off your shoes before entering.
13.
Most people are uneasy when flying. You're uneasy in the security line.
15.
You sometimes get overwhelmed that at any time*, there are twice as many feet as people in any given room.
16.
Yoga seemed like a cool new hobby. Until you found out about the no shoes rule.
17.
You do all your shoe shopping online so you don't have to risk seeing barefoot monsters at the shoe store.
18.
You don't get why this is even a sign. Of course you should wear shoes inside a store.
19.
Just the word "toe ring" makes you queasy.
20.
You have the utmost respect for podiatrists.
21.
And when people ask you why you hate feet so much, you don't have much to say.
