What It Was Like Playing Sports In High School As A Girl

You may have had a losing record, but at least your socks were tie-dyed!

1. First of all, if you forgot to pack a sports bra, your day was literally ruined.

Better hope coach doesn’t make you do jumping jacks!

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2. Sometimes you wore your practice clothes to school so you wouldn’t have to change later.

Whatever, it’s comfortable AND convenient.

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3. You often had to tell your friends, “Sorry, can’t go to the mall after school. Got practice.”

But you weren’t actually sorry.

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4. This got passed around the locker room like a black-market drug.

Sharing is caring.

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5. You wore prewrap on your head more than anywhere else on your body.

And it had to match your team colors.

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6. You hair was 100% part of your uniform.

Which explains why girls always took longer in the locker room than boys.

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7. You might’ve tried to use cramps to get out of practice with a male coach, but with a female coach…

…that shit wouldn’t fly.

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8. Boob sweat. It happened.

Like sparkling pools forming at the base of two majestic mountains.

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9. You had actual concerns about what your uniform was going to do to your tan lines.

It took an entire summer to get rid of them.

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10. You dealt with a lot of ignorant commentary like, “All [insert sport here] players are lesbians.”

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11. You knew there’d be serious ramifications if you didn’t wear your bow/tie-dyed socks/lucky eyeblack on important game days.


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12. You couldn’t forget the words to cheers even if you tried.


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13. You knew girls who matched their nails to their jersey.

That’s commitment.

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14. You were never sure about the vague sexism that came along with being called the “lady” version of your team name.


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15. Or the less vague sexism of having to wear a skirt as part of your uniform.

How is this at all practical?

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16. Pink sporting equipment ignited heated debates amongst your teammates.

Pretty? Or pandering?

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17. You sometimes resented the boys for getting a lot more recognition for working equally as hard as you…

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18. …but at least they were good eye candy.

Be still my 17-year-old heart.

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19. BUT using equipment/facilities after the boys was seriously nauseating.

Sweaty high school B.O., NOPE.

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20. You can think of more than one loss you suffered because two of your teammates were silently fighting.

But then they were friends again the next day.

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21. After a hard loss, you could expect sports-themed baked goods.

Just eat your feelings and the hurt will go away.

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22. Team sleepovers were for bonding.

And airing your grievances, i.e., “It really hurt my feelings that you didn’t pass to me in that tournament game.”

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23. You were in the best shape of your life…

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24. …yet you spent all of your free time snacking.

Pasta dinners, potlucks, BBQs, DELISH!

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25. You felt really cool when you got to leave school early for the State Tournament.

Because States were the most important thing in the world.

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26. You were oddly proud of your scrapes, scars, and bruises.

‘Cuz you earned them!

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27. There were definitely some tears on Senior Day.


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28. Because at the end of the day, your teammates were your sisters.

And four years wasn’t long enough.

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