You’re surprisingly soft to the touch. You put on a tough exterior, but deep down, you’ve got a sweet, gentle soul that would never “move bitches” out of the way.
You’re a wildcard! Where most people see a beard, you see a blank canvas—a beautiful artistic moment just waiting to happen (and to be paired with a top hat).
You’re trying. One of these days you’ll get there. We Belieb in you.
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Old Timey Neck Beard
You’re distinguished, powerful, and you’ve got a gorgeous fluffy cloud of beard upon which your majestic head rests. Your beard summons the sunrise and moon and all that is great and right in the universe. Thanks for that.
Ahoy matey! You’re a fancy lad, with a beard that launched a thousand ships—a face full of fantastic tentacles that any sailor would gladly grow. You certainly know how to entertain a crowd (and how to fight off a monster sea creature).