1. Growing facial hair.
Endless styling possibilities!
2. Peeing standing up.
Road trips would be a breeze!
3. Never having to wait for the bathroom.
Again, the penis thing.
4. Using pockets instead of a purse to hold our things.
Attn. fashion designers: Make deeper pockets for us ladydudes.
5. Parenting a child without giving actual birth.
Frickin’ dads having all the frickin’ fun without doing any of the frickin’ work.
7. Wearing comfortable shoes to formal events.
And bonus: funky socks!
8. Having low-low-low maintenance haircuts.
Some women can absolutely rock this look. The rest of us, however, are doomed to shampoo and condition and blow and style until our arms fall off.
9. Having no societal pressure to shave our legs.
You go, Mo’Nique!
10. Or, ya know…
Years of our lives wasted. Years we’ll never get back.
11. Doing a less conspicuous Walk Of Shame.
Oh, look, a man walking down the street in jeans and a shirt at 10 a.m. NOTHING SUSPICIOUS HERE.
12. Attending winter weddings without fearing for our limbs.
Frostbite is a REAL thing, you guys!
Photo by: Joe Elario
13. Accessorizing with ties.
Another cute accessory wasted on men. And Avril Lavigne.
14. Covering up a bad hair day with a hat without it looking suspicious.
No one wears a hat on a GOOD hair day is all I’m sayin’.
15. Walking down the street without getting harrassed about our appearance.
Does catcalling ever work? Ever?!
16. Walking home alone at night without freaking the fuck out at every twig snap.
Or maybe this happens to dudes too, idk idk idk.
19. Tanning our buppies at the beach.
Perma-kini of death :(
20. Running upstairs without THIS happening:
So much pain.