The 28 Most New Jersey Things To Ever Happen

“Yeah, screw you too.”

1. This baby-sized slice of ‘za.

Level of Jersey: Complaining about BENNYs at the shore but partying in NYC on the weekends.

ID: 1902573

2. This emergency can of hairspray in a restaurant bathroom.

Level of Jersey: Going to a bachelorette party in Atlantic City more than once a month.

ID: 1902589

3. This realistic benefactor.

Level of Jersey: Spotting a Real Housewife of New Jersey cast member at a Houston’s.

ID: 1902606

4. This gas station attendant who takes his job very seriously.

Level of Jersey: Asking someone at a gas station, “Wait, so do I pay first or pump first?” anytime you leave the state.

ID: 1902614

5. This NJ Transit commuter who’s just trying to pass the time between transfers.

Level of Jersey: Spending more time driving around a mall parking lot than actually shopping.

ID: 1902768

6. The names of these stuffed sandwiches.

Level of Jersey: Getting teary-eyed whenever Bruce comes on the radio.

ID: 1902831

7. This tough love sign:

Level of Jersey: Getting into arguments over whether it’s called Taylor ham or pork roll.

ID: 1902622

8. This old-school NJ vanity plate that’s dripping with snark.

Level of Jersey: Having at least three kids named Tony in your graduating class.

ID: 1902859

9. These creative Wildwood residents who aren’t going to a let a little thing like disability keep them off the boardwalk.

Level of Jersey: Having “Watch the tram car, please” stuck in your head for weeks.

ID: 1902930

10. This gentle reminder to please drive carefully.

Level of Jersey: Taking the bus to the city when you were in high school and not having any idea what to do when you got there.

ID: 1902870

11. This tweet from The Post.

Gov. Christie signs 'Tan Mom' law, banning children from tanning beds

— New York Post (@nypost)

New York Post


Gov. Christie signs ‘Tan Mom’ law, banning children from tanning beds

/ Via
ID: 1903662

Level of Jersey: Fist pumping at a bar in Hoboken as a form of self-parody, but then secretly enjoying it.

ID: 1904566

12. This hairdresser’s clever marketing technique.

Level of Jersey: Being able to see the New York skyline from some point in your county.

ID: 1902931

13. This organized crime.

Level of Jersey: Feeling differently about Christie after Sandy, but not admitting it out loud.

ID: 1903773

14. This girl wearing a top bun holding Taylor ham, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel with her fresh mani.

Level of Jersey: Knowing that the only response to “SPK?” is “Of course.”

ID: 1904330

15. This New York Times headline that sounds like an episode from The Sopranos.

Flickr / Paul Lowry / Via Flickr: 10039026@N03

Level of Jersey: Ordering disco fries at 2 a.m.

ID: 1903034

16. This creative graffiti artist.

Level of Jersey: Surfing in the summer and snowboarding in the winter without ever having to leave NJ.

ID: 1903807

17. This tweet from Kal Penn, who plays Kumar in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

Just heard someone use "Happy Mothers Day" as an insult, "Oh yeah? Happy Muthuz Day yuh so reedickylis YA AWFULL PERSON"#OnlyInNJ #NJ4Life

— Kal Penn (@kalpenn)

Kal Penn


Just heard someone use “Happy Mothers Day” as an insult, “Oh yeah? Happy Muthuz Day yuh so reedickylis YA AWFULL PERSON”#OnlyInNJ #NJ4Life

/ Via
ID: 1903653

Level of Jersey: Having more than one friend with a house on LBI.

ID: 1904715

18. This guy lint rolling his Mercedes.

Level of Jersey: Griping about Newark Airport but never considering flying out of JFK.

ID: 1904140

19. These unbelievable tweets from

Level of Jersey: Meeting someone from New Jersey and asking them “What exit?”

ID: 1903791

20. This sign that seems like a bit of a non sequitur.

Level of Jersey: Never really growing out of your Bon Jovi crush.

ID: 1903869

21. This rightful punishment.

Level of Jersey: Keeping a mental list of every celebrity that was born in NJ.

ID: 1903901

22. This unfortunate health risk.

Level of Jersey: Feeling oddly proud that Camden, N.J., is often cited as one of the most dangerous cities in the nation.

ID: 1904132

23. Apparently being the only state that celebrates Mischief Night.

Level of Jersey: Knowing it’s also called Cabbage Night or Gate Night, and waiting all year for it.

ID: 1904214

24. These shore residents that had strong feelings toward Jersey Shore.

Level of Jersey: Vehemently reminding people that the only original cast member of Jersey Shore who’s actually from NJ was Sammi Sweetheart, and she was arguably the least insane.

ID: 1902586

25. This diner that’s committed to its business, even in the midst of a natural disaster.

Level of Jersey: Doing everything in your power to avoid the Parkway between the months of June to August.

ID: 1904137

26. This touching tribute to the late James Gandolfini from the “Bada Bing” strip club.

Level of Jersey: Having lasagna at Thanksgiving.

ID: 1902874

27. This person who didn’t forget the meaning of “neighborhood” during Superstorm Sandy.

Level of Jersey: Seeing Jersey Boys on Broadway and giving it a standing ovation.

ID: 1902595

28. And this accurate T-shirt:

Level of Jersey: Generally not giving a fuck.

ID: 1904163

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