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BuzzFeed Staff

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Your fate rests in winter's cold, frozen hands.

Your fate rests in winter's cold, frozen hands.

How Will You Survive Blizzard Juno?

They mocked you for filling that kitchen drawer with unused plastic spoons. Well who's laughing now? Thanks to your surplus of disposable cutlery you were able to tunnel through the snow to a safe haven in Florida. The mayor even gave you a badge of honor for being so gosh darn resourceful. Go you!

Tunneling to safety with leftover takeout spoons

Scientists are puzzled. You're the first human to ever achieve a true bear-like hibernative state. With your slowed metabolism and increased body temperature, you slept straight through Blizzard Juno like it never even happened. Amazing!

Hibernating like a bear

With all of your energy focused on your follicles, you somehow managed to increase your production of body hair and grow an entire second coat. Doctors are puzzled and "honestly, a little freaked out" by your hairy abnormality but you'll be laughing all the way to summer. Now to find a good waxer...

Growing a second coat of body hair

In some kind of freaky reverse "Frosty The Snowman" nightmare, you became an actual snowman. You have no thoughts or feelings because you're made of snow. But hey, at least you're not cold!

Becoming an actual snowman

Thumbnail image by: ThinkStock / JanMika

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How Will You Survive Blizzard Juno?

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