1. STEERING WHEELS.
Oh, I’m sorry, legs. Did YOU want to drive?
2. BATH TUBS.
It’s so relaxing having icebergs for knees.
3. THEATRE SEATS.
Now I know where the term “break a leg” came from.
4. BUS SEATS.
As if taking the bus isn’t enough of an indignity.
5. AIRPLANE SEATS.
Wow, all this comfort for only $900 per seat.
6. COMPACT SEDANS.
Do ya mind if I keep my legs in the trunk?
8. OVER-THE-KNEE SOCKS
I hear under-the-knee socks are in now. No?
10. SHORT DRESSES.
It looks like a plastic bag caught in a tree.
12. PANTS THAT ARE TOO SHORT.
I’ll just get these…tailored?
13. PANTS THAT FIT YOUR LEGS BUT NOT YOUR WAIST.
In case everyone was wondering what underwear I am wearing.
14. THE DRESS/SHIRT CONUNDRUM.
I need answers here, people.
15. HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS.
It’s cool, I didn’t want to feel my genitals anyway.
16. PRICE-GOUGING SPECIALTY STORES.
Really know how to hit a girl when she’s down.
It’d be cool to one day meet my feet.
20. MANICURE TABLES.
Can you use that nail file to file down my knees please?
23. WORK OUT EQUIPMENT.
The only burn I’m feeling is the one in my soul.
- U.S. President Barack Obama and leaders from 20 nations called for doubling clean energy research funding over the next five years at the Paris climate summit 🌍 ›
- The man accused in Friday's Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado made his first court appearance. Charges are expected to be formally filed on Dec. 9. ›
- And there's a hilarious new rap meme of Pope Francis, thanks to a photo taken over the weekend of him giving his blessing 🙏🎤 ›