1. STEERING WHEELS.
Oh, I’m sorry, legs. Did YOU want to drive?
3. THEATRE SEATS.
Now I know where the term “break a leg” came from.
4. BUS SEATS.
As if taking the bus isn’t enough of an indignity.
5. AIRPLANE SEATS.
Wow, all this comfort for only $900 per seat.
6. COMPACT SEDANS.
Do ya mind if I keep my legs in the trunk?
8. OVER-THE-KNEE SOCKS
I hear under-the-knee socks are in now. No?
10. SHORT DRESSES.
It looks like a plastic bag caught in a tree.
13. PANTS THAT FIT YOUR LEGS BUT NOT YOUR WAIST.
In case everyone was wondering what underwear I am wearing.
15. HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS.
It’s cool, I didn’t want to feel my genitals anyway.
16. PRICE-GOUGING SPECIALTY STORES.
Really know how to hit a girl when she’s down.
20. MANICURE TABLES.
Can you use that nail file to file down my knees please?
23. WORK OUT EQUIPMENT.
The only burn I’m feeling is the one in my soul.
- Budapest's main train station has opened its doors after a two-day stand-off, during which hundreds of people without a valid European Union visa weren't allowed on trains. ›
- Guatemalan President Otto Pérez Molina has resigned amid a lengthy corruption scandal that has brought his government to the brink. ›
- China's President Xi Jinping has said army personnel will be reduced by 300,000, the biggest cut to the military in almost two decades. ›