1. Politics are certainly more interesting with closed captions.
5. They never take a break, not even during silent films like The Artist.
6. They add emphasis to statements you may have otherwise missed.
10. This is what happened when a bowl fell off a table in Archer:
19. They’ve got your back when you’re watching TV with your parents.
20. They are in no way presumptuous about alternative name spelling.
23. They’re truly adept at thought-provoking juxtaposition.
Senior Editor, Acid Bath Princess of the Darkness
Here Are The Top Stories
- Officials released new footage proving Sandra Bland was "alive and well" when her mugshot was taken. The release aims to counter social media rumors that she was deceased in the photo.
- The U.S. will release Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard after 30 years. The move isn't tied to the Iran nuclear deal, American officials say.
- The NFL has upheld Tom Brady's four-game suspension for his alleged involvement with the deflation of footballs 🏈