Learning his teammates’ names? That needs work.
LeSean McCoy has been calling Matt Barkley “Mark.” Thought that was his name, until reporters corrected him. “He never said anything.”
“Who, Mick Foley? Great QB. He and Matt should have a fun time competing for the starting job.”
“Best hands on the team? Jack Marlin, for sure. GREAT hands.”
“Man, no one is better at left tackle than Justin Biebers. NO ONE.”
“Really, really excited to have Ice Cream Topanga on our defensive line. Big get for us.”
“Really, though, we need stability at the QB position. Of course, that leads us back to one man and one man in particular. Y’all know exactly who I’m talking about, so it seems superfluous to say his name aloud, but that would be ol’ Bort McSlinkyLegs.”
- Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump have won the New Hampshire primaries for the Democratic and Republican nominations 🇺🇸
- The Supreme Court put on hold President Obama's climate change plan, which aims to curb carbon dioxide emissions from power plants.
- And thank the Force: Disney's profits hit an all-time high of $2.9 billion after the latest *Star Wars* film release ✨💰