Learning his teammates’ names? That needs work.
LeSean McCoy has been calling Matt Barkley “Mark.” Thought that was his name, until reporters corrected him. “He never said anything.”
“Who, Mick Foley? Great QB. He and Matt should have a fun time competing for the starting job.”
“Best hands on the team? Jack Marlin, for sure. GREAT hands.”
“Man, no one is better at left tackle than Justin Biebers. NO ONE.”
“Really, really excited to have Ice Cream Topanga on our defensive line. Big get for us.”
“Really, though, we need stability at the QB position. Of course, that leads us back to one man and one man in particular. Y’all know exactly who I’m talking about, so it seems superfluous to say his name aloud, but that would be ol’ Bort McSlinkyLegs.”
- Kids in California schools can no longer be opted out of vaccination on religious or personal grounds under a new law.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who has faced political fallout from the "Bridgegate" scandal, is running for president. He's the 14th Republican in the race.
- Misty Copeland has become the first black female principal dancer in American Ballet Theater's 75-year history.
- And Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have decided to divorce after 10 years of marriage. ?