Running back LeSean McCoy is pretty good at hitting the gaps in the O-line, accelerating in the open field, and stiff-arming the secondary.
Sgt. Austin Hazard/USMC / MCT
Of course, “Mark” Barkley isn’t bad as far as Weirdly Unintentional Nicknames go, but McCoy can surely do better.
Michael Conroy / AP
“Who, Mick Foley? Great QB. He and Matt should have a fun time competing for the starting job.”
Maybe it’s Nick Foles. Mel Evans / AP
“Best hands on the team? Jack Marlin, for sure. GREAT hands.”
Oh, Jeremy Maclin! Al Bello / Getty Images
“Man, no one is better at left tackle than Justin Biebers. NO ONE.”
Don’t repeat this to Jason Peters’ face. Rob Carr / Getty Images
“Really, really excited to have Ice Cream Topanga on our defensive line. Big get for us.”
Isaac Sopoaga has heard ‘em all. Mark Humphrey / AP
“Really, though, we need stability at the QB position. Of course, that leads us back to one man and one man in particular. Y’all know exactly who I’m talking about, so it seems superfluous to say his name aloud, but that would be ol’ Bort McSlinkyLegs.”
Sigh. Elsa / Getty Images
“Good luck, Mark.”
Matt Slocum / AP