The only people who would find this convincing are people who have never heard of Lindsay Lohan.

Smash being a shitty show shouldn’t be an excuse to be snotty to someone in emails. She was perfectly cordial to you, and you were an ass. Did Theresa Rebeck steal your boyfriend or something? Why so rude?

Taylor Swift could punch Michelle Obama in the face while huffing spray paint and her fans would say “Everyone punches Michelle Obama in the face while huffing spray paint. Deal with it.”

7 Things I Will Claim Democrats Are Not Freaking Out Over, Because Like, I Don’t Know Enough Democrats

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NEVER FORGET

TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR?

“With regards to the pricing of our sandwiches, “FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG” is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to tell you how much the sandwich costs.”

So much energy, you’ll think you’ve been sucking on a 9-volt battery.

“If she’s not a rock star, who in contemporary mainstream culture is?” Ummm, Lindsey Lohan does tons of drugs and punches strangers in the face. She’s more of a rock star than someone who sings songs about sex that were written by other people.