Rebooted Hollywood Rom Coms Starring Cthulhu

When the Elder God Cthulhu takes over as a studio exec, no rom-com is safe!

Isn’t it about time that Cthulhu, in his infinite power and glory, conquered Hollywood? Good news, Cthulhu-enthusiasts, the Elder God is a film studio exec now! He has horrible and genius plans for the silver screen: He’ll stop at nothing to star in remakes of some of the most beloved films of all time.

Cthulhu has commenced his Hollywood mission by taking over his favorite genre: The romantic comedy. After all, you can’t spell Lovecraft without L-O-V-E.

2. Never Been Kissed by an Alien Overlord

Drew Barrymore plays Josie, a scrappy journalist looking for her first big scoop. Cthulhu plays a loveable, passionate English teacher. When Josie goes undercover as a high school student, enrolling in Mr. Cthulhu’s class during Lovecraft Week, sparks fly as both try to deny their mutual attraction. Will Josie come clean about her identity? Will Cthulhu smite the entire school, including Josie, after he discovers his students plagiarizing their Dunwich Horror essays?

3. Forgetting Sarah Minotaur

Crushed after his breakup with Sarah Minotaur, a stunning half-human half-bovine model-actress, Cthulhu travels to Oahu in order to relax, regroup, and plan a world takeover. Cthulhu meets adorable hotel concierge Rachel; they hit it off immediately. Things are going well until Sarah Minotaur shows up, accompanied by rocker Russell Brand. To make matters worse, jealousy strikes when Cthulhu’s ex sees her former honey canoodling with a hot-to-trot mortal; she wants him back! Who will Cthulhu choose to take back to his labyrinth of love?

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