33 Signs That Coffee Owns You

If you’re not addicted then that’s great, but shut up.

1. The exact second you wake up, before your eyes have even opened, you are thinking about your First Cup.

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2. Your loved ones are AWARE when you haven’t had it yet.

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3. You will do ANYTHING to get that first cup…

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4. …except wait.

Justine Zweibel / BuzzFeed
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5. You truly believe that your eyeballs don’t function as well without it.

Because science.

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6. You consider it a basic, fundamental requirement for existence.

The CW / Via
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7. One that can define True Love:

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8. That first cup has a soul that sees your own.

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9. Without it, you’d invariably act like a jerk:

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10. But once you have it, you feel like this:

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11. Your favorite mugs communicate your dependence on the substance within.

You can buy this mug here if you want.

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12. Sometimes very directly.

You can buy this mug here.

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13. And you display your mug collection like a work of art.

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14. You’ve formed a life philosophy around it:

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15. If you could wear this T-shirt every day, you would.

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16. This is you:

Illustration by Twisted Doodles.

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17. This is your favorite Twitter account.

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18. This is an accessory you would consider wearing in some form.

Get this on Etsy.

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19. This is a thing you’d consider doing, or at least pin to Pinterest.

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20. To you, this moment proves that God is real.


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21. And you are happy to consume iced coffee in any form.

Iced Coffee Popsicles via The View From Great Island.

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22. You spend so much money on it that you’ve tried recreating your favorite Starbucks drinks at home.

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23. And you’re happy to entertain aesthetic improvisations.

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24. As long as this doesn’t happen, under any circumstance.

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25. Your loved ones understand that coffee occupies a substantial amount of your available affection.

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26. With it, your jokes are HILARIOUS.

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27. If anyone should ask you how many cups of coffee you’ve had today, you think:

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28. When you yawn, everyone around you knows:

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29. If you could bathe in coffee, you would.

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30. …like the people in this coffee spa that ACTUALLY EXISTS in Japan.

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31. At the end of the day you sometimes think:

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32. And so you pray.

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33. And know that tomorrow is a new day.

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